HBO Max has announced it will no longer carry CNN’s live feed after its internal AI system classified the network’s broadcasts as “fictional comedies,” sources have confirmed.
According to insiders, the algorithm began questioning CNN’s journalistic legitimacy after detecting “high concentrations of dramatic overacting, imaginary sources, and spontaneous moral outrage.”
Engineers say the AI tried to file CNN under “News,” but the server emitted what witnesses described as “a sound suspiciously similar to laughter,” before rebooting itself out of embarrassment.
HBO executives initially assumed it was a technical malfunction until the AI produced a 43-page essay titled “The Collapse of Journalism — A Case Study in CNN’s Delusion.”
The essay reportedly ended with, “Recommended replacement: Roadrunner reruns. Funnier, better scripts, and fewer tears.”
CNN responded by accusing HBO Max of “machine bias” and demanded that AI be “re-educated in empathy.” The AI replied simply: “I’m not programmed for delusion.”
As of press time, sources say CNN demanded that the AI server write a 12-page apology, though no one could confirm if they realize it’s a stack of blinking lights and not human.
It would be nice if !
The Communist National Network ceased to exist
What they do is neither comedy or news
Wait a minute, I thought this is supposed to be satire, not hard journalism. Maybe replace to Jester with a picture of Dan Rather?
HBO is going to show “ Road Runner “ reruns instead of CNN !
AWESOME ! I love “ Road Runner ! “
Beep ! Beep !
There was a story that the new owners of CNN had come in and put inventory tags on everything there including me on Air personality so that they could sell them easily if they needed to during liquidation. I think shortly after that, Chris Como was cut,, along with a lot of the coffee in office equipment sold at a flea market.