Sources have confirmed that following President Trump’s State of the Union address, aspiring Democrat-in-waiting Stephen Colbert courageously confronted House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries over his now-famous strategy of “Silent Defiance.”
Colbert, reportedly pacing backstage in a blazer stitched from recycled monologues, demanded to know why Jeffries chose interpretive stillness while other Democrats tested the upper limits of indoor shouting.
Witnesses say Jeffries calmly adjusted an imaginary lapel mic and explained, “I only speak loud when I’m sure I’m alone so I’ll be heard and the cameras are at the right angle.”
Despite colleagues auditioning for America’s Got Outbursts during the speech, Jeffries insisted restraint was key.
“I need to be heard,” he clarified, “even though I don’t know what I’m talking about.”
Staffers later confirmed he practiced his rebuttal in an empty conference room to achieve optimal echo.
Meanwhile, President Trump responded to the media kerfuffle with characteristic efficiency:
“I’ll keep moving America forward while Jeffries waits for camera angles and Colbert hopes he can joke his way into Congress.”
Colbert has since floated a potential run for Jeffries’ seat, citing his extensive experience speaking passionately to rooms that are technically occupied but spiritually absent.
As of press time, Jeffries was still waiting for the perfect lighting to begin his next thunderous solo address.
If only someone could come up with a democrat/snowflake spry,,,,you know,,,,like RAID.
RAID–Ruins All Idiot Democrats!
Lefties need to leave America.
Colbert is an overrated big mouthed PUNK. He’s the next worst idiot the Democrats will experiment with. He’s trash.
I really enjoy your humor guys. Thanks.