ATHENS, GA — College baseball entered a brave new era of emotional safety this week after a Georgia player launched a mammoth go-ahead home run and was immediately ejected for reacting like sports are supposed to be exciting, sources have confirmed.
Officials said the player committed the unforgivable act of “excessive joy,” a dangerous gateway emotion that can lead to confidence, momentum, and fans briefly remembering why they bought tickets.
“We support competition,” said one NCAA official while gently polishing a participation trophy.
“But only if the winner behaves like he just received disappointing lab results.”
The home run reportedly traveled so far it filed a flight plan, crossed state lines, and came back with barbecue.
Unfortunately, the celebration that followed included smiling, energy, and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm.
“That kind of behavior sends the wrong message,” said a sports equity consultant.
“Young athletes might think hard work, talent, and clutch performance should be rewarded with excitement instead of a quiet apology circle.”
By next season, players who hit go-ahead homers will reportedly be required to jog silently, thank the pitcher for his lived experience, and submit a 500-word reflection titled How My Success May Have Caused Harm.
As of press time, the NCAA was still workshopping “equitable contact events,” while MLB scouts were reportedly lined up outside the locker room recruiting anyone brave enough to hit a baseball, celebrate the moment, and not apologize to the pitcher’s inner child.
This is pathetic!
Of course he SHOULD BE EXCITED!
Stop this madness!
I agree; that is absolutely ridiculous!!! Sports are becoming ridiculous. I couldn’t believe I was reading this correctly!
That is absolutely RIDICULOUS!!
No wonder kids don’t have any mm self esteem anymore because of these stupid laws!
I couldn’t believe what I was reading at first; I thought it was an April Fools joke! Well the whole thing is a joke to me! Unbelievable!
I can’t even begin to express how sad this is, if this keeps up they’ll be rescinding high school, college diplomas, and any certificate that warrants a celebration!
Sad state of affairs when it comes down to this. Typical woke behavior by limp wrist society. I hope tge whole team tuns around the bases next time in protest. That way it will be over looked because it is a “peaceful protest” and we all know that is ok.
To see where this ends I recommend the short story “Harrison Bergeron” (first published in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction in Oct. 1961) in Kurt Vonnegut’s short story collection, “Welcome to the Monkey House”.
UNBELIEVABLE !!!! … The HoME Run Hitter … His Teammates … Fans … ETC. … SHOULD … as throughout History and ‘Nature’ … CONTINUALLY Displays … the JOY… of physical accomplishment … WHICH NEEDS & Deserves THIS EXCITEMENT … It appears to Me … that the ‘official ( 🙄 )’ .. that ‘removed’ … Has proven through “his” decision … Should Be Permanently blocked from ANY further duties of responsibility & visit an emotional-trained psychologist for prolonged treatment … so as to return to reality !
Limp-wristed wimps came up with this rule.
I know this is sarcasm, but it really does point out where liberalism is trying to lead us.
The NCAA did NOTHING to eject a female athlete in the Regional WCWS celebrating after a home run with the ENTIRE squad of the team celebrating at home plate, etc. Why the double standard?
That is disgusting, if it’s true. I’m still not sure if this is a fictional piece. If not, that referee should be exiled to ref. some Siberian sport. Yaak Roping maybe? Anything he wants, as long as it’s in Siberia. He should not be allowed to affect the lives of young people having fun.