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Home Politics

DOJ’s New Policy: Laws Apply to Everyone, Even Chuck’s Friends

Joe King by Joe King
September 28, 2025
in Politics
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Chuck Schumer lashed out this morning after James Comey’s indictment, blasting the Department of Justice for “acting outside what we’re used to,” sources have confirmed.

Critics quickly noted that what Democrats are “used to” is never being investigated in the first place.

Schumer, visibly shaken, demanded to know why the DOJ was suddenly treating Democrats as if they were ordinary citizens.

One Republican staffer quipped, “Yes, Chuck — it’s called investigating crimes against the United States. I know it’s new for you.”

Comey, who allegedly approved leaking classified documents like they were grocery coupons, reportedly asked the court if he could leak the indictment itself, just to stay consistent.

Legal experts say his best defense might be arguing that lying to Congress was “a form of self-expression.”

Meanwhile, Democrats scrambled to adjust to the possibility of laws applying to them.

One aide suggested creating a “Privilege Pass” allowing progressives to opt out of felonies they find emotionally inconvenient.

As of press time, Schumer was drafting emergency legislation to officially redefine “indictment” as “a Republican conspiracy theory with paperwork.”

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Comments 5

  1. Joe Modarots says:
    1 year ago

    Wow !
    This is the most literally true piece of satire I’ve ever seen Joe King write ✍️!
    ( could it be his auto pen ? )

    Reply
  2. Sue says:
    1 year ago

    Schumer your next your going down hard. All your corruption is going to be exposed things you thought were buried are coming out and are going to bury you.

    Reply
    • Arden H. Kauss says:
      1 year ago

      No…it’s not. Democrats always skate on this stuff. The entire federal government needs to be wiped out…time to start over.

      Reply
  3. GSM says:
    1 year ago

    It’s amazing that Americans did not know this. I pray for Marshal law. Why ? Because these people who created this destruction by their treason will be executed by Military tribunals which will start. Federal law only puts them in jail to feed. But be ware ! Any nation that must use their military to stop the terrorists within Are in a slow walk to the other side of that coin . The letter of the law is to keep a society civil. From the look of the entire Democratic Party. Not one of them think they are to obey the same laws. Calling for attacks and murders of Americans. While being paid by Americans! They have Allowed millions to enter and take over . Which Schumer wants to continue to give illegals medical paid for by taxpayers That’s what he is willing to shut our government down for Idiot DEI fail to see We want every illegal gone and democrats punished . Democrats did this For control ! Their newfound populations to replace us. None of them have ever had any intentions of joining just taking and stealing and setting up “Their “cultures and agendas in our country . While living off of us ! Doing away with these laws And making only certain groups abide by them . Every white person knows this.
    It’s time Every democrat and wussie Republican Politician And people who vote for them throughout America in every aspect of our entire government Are punished They our enemies within . They’ve Changed this when they allowed Antifa and BLM and Affirmative action to be instituted upon White people and Christians and The innocent in the womb and elderly And the pussification of our military of which they steal from all of the groups above to take care of illegals and perverts. Also they expect Americans not illegals to die in wars in other countries While they put our soldiers on Food stamps
    I am tired of Blacism and wussie Antifas hiding behind masks like cowards. Trump took The President Of Columbia’s visa away. Why ? Because that idiot was in our country calling for our Military to go against our government. And The Democrats had a fit. Do any of you think that if that was an American in Columbia calling for its soldiers to take over. You would still be breathing?
    Why do people like Democrats and foreigners think they can do what ever on our soil to us?
    “”Democrats there is the answer “”
    And the democrats whores doing their bidding
    The MEDIAS

    Reply
  4. chur says:
    1 year ago

    the nasty, lying, cheating murder party has never been held accountable for their misdeeds. it is time they get their punishment. demonic-craps are the antichrist.

    Reply

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