DETROIT — Abdul El-Sayed’s campaign invited reporters to an Addams Family-style reunion Tuesday, then spent six hours denying anyone was related.
“She’s my sister-in-law,” El-Sayed explained.
“So, family?”
“Let’s not politicize my marriage.”
A spokesperson clarified that “in-law” meant the relationship was technically his wife’s problem.
Trouble escalated when a reporter produced a wedding photograph.
“That’s a gathering,” an aide explained.
“You’re cutting a cake.”
“People get hungry.”
“The cake says ‘Congratulations on Your Marriage.’”
“We don’t control what frosting believes.”
Gomez Addams attempted to welcome everyone, but consultants stopped him after “We’re all family” triggered the campaign’s sprinkler system.
Morticia described the atmosphere as unusually cold.
“And I sleep in a coffin.”
Staff subsequently replaced the family tree with a family roundabout, allowing every question to return to where it started without reaching anybody.
A disembodied hand pointed toward the sister-in-law.
The campaign put it in a mitten.
Wednesday asked why everyone kept denying things nobody had asked yet.
“We categorically reject that question,” replied an aide.
“You haven’t heard it.”
“And already it contains several inaccuracies.”
By evening, consultants had reclassified relatives as “people encountered through marriage-adjacent circumstances.”
As of press time, El-Sayed denied throwing his family under the bus, explaining that he merely invited them to stand somewhere the bus was going.
Satan doesn’t have a family tree, so I’m in full agreement with the slime bag.
There are too many red flags of denial happening here. This Muslim is not telling the truth because he has an agenda, which is catching up to him. BUT the dumb sheep will still vote for him because he is so “ Articulate “
Young people are really going to mess this up where is boys from the Appalachian mountains will have to clean up the mess these cancerous people have made.
Is ElSayed a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, as claimed? It is a recognized terror organization.