ANN ARBOR, MI — Abdul El-Sayed reportedly escalated Michigan’s housing crisis to DEFCON MAIZE after discovering that some football fans own houses near the Big House and occasionally let other football fans sleep in them, sources have confirmed.
The campaign immediately identified the culprit:
TOUCHDOWNS.
“Every Saturday,” one housing adviser warned, “thousands of people arrive with coolers, disposable income, and dangerous levels of school spirit.”
El-Sayed’s team unveiled an emergency plan:
Ban Airbnbs.
Restrict tailgates.
Seize inflatable Wolverines.
Replace football with badminton.
“Why badminton?”
“Have you ever seen 110,000 people rent houses for badminton?”
Fair point.
The proposal quickly expanded.
Anyone owning a second bedroom near the stadium would be required to prove it had never housed a man wearing face paint.
Porches would be inspected for grills.
Driveways with more than three folding chairs would be classified as speculative investment properties.
One homeowner protested:
(Fan): “I bought this house twenty years ago.”
(Official): “Exactly. Premeditated.”
Meanwhile, Michigan’s football program was ordered to study replacing the Big House with 107,000 efficiency apartments and one regulation-size shuttlecock court.
Economists suggested zoning and construction supply might also matter.
They were escorted out for introducing variables.
As of press time, state officials were questioning a suspicious family from Ohio after discovering six lawn chairs, two coolers, and a Vrbo password written on the refrigerator.
These people were here before t commie they are Americans and have a right to celebrate football. At their home no matter where it is . You people don’t be stupid an vote for the commie
The trouble is there are far more people who don’t have enough money to own a second home and a Porsche than those that do, so “the commie” strikes a chord with them, and come November he’ll be getting their votes. And Trump might as well be campaigning for him and other DSA candidates with his ill-thought out policies that are making daily life more difficult for the average American.
Tuna walk your fat but or waddle and get your government allowance
And polish your lips for more butt kissing lol
Kenny Runyon resume: he cut classes in high school to hang out instead with the rest of the losers in his class smoking cigarettes or dope. He didn’t graduate but got his GED instead, and he now works in a menial job that he hates, because that was the only type of job he was qualified for. So now he takes out his frustrations by posting what he thinks are “witty diatribe answers” to other people’s posts on the Daily Skrape. (Look that word up Kenny, that is if you know what a dictionary is,) and learn to spell all your words correctly, or better yet, stop posting, so you don’t publicly expose your stupidity.
Oh – this is just the beginning of all the things that “your goverment” will do – Michigan, New York, Illinois and Khalifornia – better WAKE UP – DC
I don’t own a second home or a Porsche. I am firmly middle class. I have NO desire to vote for a socialist or anyone who feels that believes that people who have worked to earn their money have an obligation to share it with people who don’t. (I also don’t want my taxes to support illegal immigrants.)
The kids that are pushing for these bullshit socialist ideas better visit the countries that actually have socialism before you spread something that you have no idea what you are talking about. Your high school and college instructors have indoctrinated stupid people. I have worked in both Venezuela and Cuba; it broke my heart to see what socialism has done to these people. I will fight physically with anyone who tries to push this shit on my family and me.
Going after football is not a smart way to get votes,especially in the Midwest Or The South!