This season the WNBA has made record-breaking advances in ticket sales and television ratings, and the gains are being attributed to a trio of sensational rookies: Caitlin Clark, Angel Reese, and the mysterious Michelle Jordan.
“I loved watching Clark and Reese in college the last few years. What a rivalry!” said Dennis Hawkins, a local WNBA fan. “And I’m not all the way sure where this Michelle Jordan came from, but she’s good as hell too! She seems a little older than the other rookies, but there’s no denying the skills she has. She’s the only one I see dunking out there regularly which is pretty cool.”
Others were suspicious of Jordan, the league leader in points, assists, and rebounds that refuses to shower with her teammates.
“There’s no way some lady can just come in here and be that dominant, there’s something sketchy about all of this,” said local skeptic Al Jacobs. “I think it’s obvious what’s going on here. Michelle Jordan is using performance-enhancing drugs. That’s the only thing that can explain her rapid ascent. Why do you think she has such a masculine build?”
As of press time, the Chicago Sky had signed another unknown free agent, a small forward by the name of Samantha Pippen.
Who cares? Only the people making money off of this.
So you don’t know who Jordan and Pippen are?
…or that this is a spoof, a satire…