WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democratic leadership is in full-blown family crisis, sources have confirmed.
AOC’s latest progressive tantrum reportedly “sent Grandpa Schumer’s blood pressure into a filibuster.”
What began as a routine meeting turned into a generational cage match when AOC accused her elders of being “spiritually beige.”
Pelosi clutched her pearls, Schumer adjusted his bifocals, and witnesses say someone whispered, “This is why we don’t invite her to brunch.”
Insiders describe the Democratic caucus as “a nursing home hosting a youth rally.”
Pelosi and Schumer insist they still run the house, while AOC livestreams her rebellion in 4K with filters, hashtags, and zero restraint.
One producer from Bravo reportedly asked if the DNC would sell the rights to “Meet the Wokes”, calling it “the most unintentionally funny reality show since Keeping Up with Kamala.”
One staffer said, “It’s like watching your grandparents argue with their crypto-investing granddaughter — except the granddaughter wants to abolish rent and reality.”
Kevin McCarthy observed dryly, “Every family has that one kid who won’t follow the rules — it’s just that this one keeps trying to rewrite the Constitution.”
As of press time, Pelosi and Schumer were grounding AOC from social media until she “learns how budgets work,” while she responded by unfollowing them both and declaring herself “Speaker of the Youth.”
AOC should just be the bartender for all the democrats committee members and in between clean all the bathrooms. Hopefully she knows how to make ice out of water. Stupid people keep voting for stupid democrats expecting change for the better. They never learn you can’t fix stupid.
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The dumocratic party is over run with kooks and snowflakes. The Keystone Cops could do a better job of public service.
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