Troops Ordered Out, Judge Demands Deployment Of “Peace Clowns,” Sources Have Confirmed.
In a ruling that could only happen in California, Judge Charles Breyer declared that National Guard troops must be replaced with federally funded circus clowns.
The new “peace brigade” will patrol Los Angeles armed with balloon animals, squirting flowers filled with oat milk, and an unlimited supply of inflatable police officers to maintain law and order, complete with Velcro badges and a two-week warranty from Party City.
Democrats insist this is a “woke solution,” though the same party has no problem unleashing IRS audits like drone strikes on grandma’s Etsy shop
Governor Gavin Newsom—dubbed the Head Clown in Chief—has already pledged full cooperation.
Wearing oversized shoes and a rainbow wig made from recycled masks, Newsom announced that the deployment will start with “Balloon Sword Saturday,” where citizens can exchange their constitutional rights for balloon poodles.
Liberals cheered the ruling as “brave,” while conservatives pointed out that trading troops for juggling acts is the political equivalent of arming a Navy SEAL with a fidget spinner and a kazoo.
Republicans noted that Democrats trust clowns to guard federal buildings but want to disarm law-abiding citizens at home.
“Typical,” said one commentator.
“First they defund the police, now they’re inflating them.”
As of press time, Gavin Newsom was turning blue trying to inflate Officer 001, later whispering between wheezes that he may have to recall the National Guard—at least until California finishes blowing up the rest of its police force.
Gibbets! We need to start hanging these traitors and make examples of them!
The only thing Newscum is good at is blowing up tube stakes.
Wonder if Newscum wears rainbow t-back underwear
This is a pathetic excuse in man’s pants. I pray Americans actually see this demonic creature for what he is. Because he is aimed at our house. I pray God intervenes .
Ask why ? Those in Hollywood whose homes were burned down and has not been able to get permits to rebuild . Are not screaming ? Those lots are with millions. And now (look it up Remember ! California has the squatters rights. And look at who is squatting in those expensive burned out lots .
👋And this idiot took the millions of tax dollars from the rest of us for those victims of the fires And gave it to the illegals medical care.
Over 5 times went bankrupt And we have done without While California put illegals in government positions over the Legal Americans. To take care of the freebie no want to be Americans