Iran’s desperate hunt for a new wartime chief of staff offers a jaw-dropping $1 billion daily salary, sources have confirmed.
After Israel’s strikes eliminated Ali Shadmani, Tehran’s third chief in days, headhunters are scrambling, slashing experience requirements to “survive 72 hours” and “dodge drones.”
Right-wing X posts mock the gig as a “death wish lottery,” with MAGA memes joking, “Apply now, retire never!”
Recruiters, reportedly backed by “Soros gold,” are cold-calling ex-generals and TikTok survivalists, promising “hazard pay in crypto.”
DOGE launched a probe into Iran’s “bounty budget,” sniffing for “Biden-era sanctions loopholes.”
Critics slam the lowered bar, citing Shadmani’s three-day tenure as “proof of incompetence,” while GOP reps cheer Israel’s “headhunter havoc.”
Iran insists the role is “prestigious,” but applicants must sign a “no-refund martyrdom clause.”
As of press time, Iran was pitching the job on LinkedIn as “fast-track leadership with explosive benefits.”
The evil ‘Soros’ needs to be arrested and charged with treason. He is fighting against the United States and Israel. He is a very evil person, but one person he can’t fight against is Jesus Christ. Jesus will win and Soros will loose badly.