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Home U.S. News

Joe Biden Pardons Turkey With Long Criminal History

Joe King by Joe King
November 28, 2024
in U.S. News
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Joe Biden Pardons Turkey With Long Criminal History
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While participating in a yearly Thanksgiving tradition, Joe Biden reportedly pardoned a turkey with an extensive criminal history, sources confirmed. 

“Oh great, another criminal turkey back out on the streets,” said local resident Cindy Carter. “I don’t know why I expected anything less from the soft-on-crime Democrats. Wait until next year. If Trump sees a turkey with a rap sheet like that one, he’s gonna deep fry it and throw turkey legs out into the crowd. I’m tired of criminals running free in the streets, human and turkey alike.” 



Despite the objections from some, others defended the turkey’s right to life. 

“The death penalty is wrong, plain and simple,” said progressive demonstrator Ernie Hall. “No one should be put to death over mistakes they made in their past. Everyone deserves a shot at redemption. Whether you were in a street gang or maybe just a confused turkey that mauled several humans at a Thanksgiving-themed photo shoot, we have to give people second chances for our society to function.” 

As of press time, the pardoned turkey had mauled several bystanders and escaped its handlers. Authorities warn that the turkey is on the loose and extremely dangerous.

Tags: BidenparonthanksgivingTurkey
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Comments 10

  1. Al Bag Daddi says:
    7 months ago

    I would expect nothing less from the TDS left. However, our nation has much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, and the last gasp of leftists turds will not diminish my thankful prayers to God.

    Reply
    • Dakotahjoe says:
      7 months ago

      Not a very veiled comparison to immigrants. When bread and milk double in price because there are not enough workers, don’t blame Biden.

      Reply
      • Festus says:
        7 months ago

        Milk would have doubled under kamela toe due to extreme cost of fart collectors on cow butts. Due to Global warming, oh, sorry I mean climate change !

        Reply
      • Festus says:
        7 months ago

        Maybe if your child was raped and beaten to death with a rock by an illegal allowed to enter and roam free by Jho and the ho, you would see things differently. Jerk off.

        Reply
        • Joe Biden says:
          7 months ago

          You want cheap milk? It’s gonna cost your daughters. Sorry.

          Reply
  2. Joan says:
    7 months ago

    Have you not been buying groceries the last 3 years. Most of the illegals are not working and if you are they are illegally working because they are illegals. We have plenty of people were born and raised here but they are too lasy to work. They would rather draw money from the governement or go out and steel.

    Reply
  3. The cable guy says:
    7 months ago

    Hey! What happened to the story about the football guy and the singer with a hoo-ha likes half eaten chicken wing? That was funny stuff, right there!!!

    Reply
  4. MAGA Man says:
    7 months ago

    He mistook the turkey for Hunter.

    Reply
  5. Nathan Hale says:
    7 months ago

    We need a constitutional amendment to burn all the traitors alive.

    Reply
  6. Dakotajoe says:
    6 months ago

    If you want cheap milk and bread, it’s gonna take illegals, er, I mean migrants to get there! They kill kill less women than American citizens! Do your research! And don’t get me started on affordable lawn care.

    Reply

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