Making the latest in a series of surprising and controversial cabinet picks, President-Elect Donald J. Trump has nominated Elon Musk for the new position of Secretary of Hanging Out All The Time, sources confirm.
“I had to give him something more to do,” explained Trump. “I created the DOGE thing [Department of Government Efficiency], but Vivek [Ramaswamy] has really been leading that more than anything. I asked Elon what he wanted to do and he just shrugged and looked at some memes on his phone. So then I came up with this idea and everybody thought it was fantastic. We’re very excited to see what Elon brings to the newly created Department of Hanging Out All the Time.”
Political analysts said that Musk is poised to triumph in the role.
“Quite simply, Musk has excelled in every pursuit of his thus far,” said reporter Lisa Carter. “From PayPal to Starlink to Tesla, this new job will be no different. I have no doubt that Elon Musk will be seen no less than 20 feet from Donald Trump whenever humanly possible until one of them gets sick of the other one. Should be exciting!”
As of press time, Sec. Musk was explaining the mechanics of the Diablo video game franchise to a disinterested Trump.
Ha ha ha! Trump hangs with the cool dudes! The left’s best is a black dude Barry and his tranny Sasquatch wife big Mike. He is a brave sun bitch, though.
AFGE will be on board if he immediately hires 5,700 assistants, 75% of whom to be GS-14 or above.
Sorry Bill, you will have to tell the folks at AFGE, there will not be an additional 5,699 jobs. Vivek came by and said,
“Don said, that’s way to many jobs, just one.” That’s me. Elon and I had grabbed Kamala’s Air Force 2. Elon said, we
were going to repaint it. Vivek said he wanted to help. I painted the red, Elon the white and Vivek the blue. Elon’s
mother is an artist and she will paint in red and blue on the white, it’s new name, “Hang Time 2 U.S.A.” Next we will
fumigate it to rid it of the cooties. As you know, Elon can’t be a long way from Don, some say 20 feet. It will up to me to do the Hang Time. To save money, I will be sleeping and eating on “Hang Time 2 U.S.A.” Except when I go to
McDonald’s. Saving additional money, I will not have offices around the country. They have budgeted me $20.00 a
day for “Hang Time” at local “coffee shops.”
Cancel school debt cancellation. That’s a good place to start . Then, Leftist commie activists just to hear them cry. “A wealthy nation breeds morons” . Don’t feed da boids!!
Dam. I really liked hearing about yellow school buses and time passing. NOT! Maybe you can go back to oral, kamel toe!