Judge Blocks Border Wall To Protect Democrats’ Endangered Voter Habitat

BIG BEND, TX: A federal judge halted President Trump’s border wall after determining it threatened the Democrats’ annual migration of hypothetical November voters, sources have confirmed.

The Judge nicknamed: Ima Partisan issued the ruling from a courtroom equipped with a ballot dispenser and a velvet portrait of an unfinished census.

“This is critical habitat,” she declared.

“Some endangered congressional districts haven’t seen a naturally occurring Democrat since the Obama administration.”

Her injunction requires Texas to replace concrete barriers with a revolving door, complimentary tote bags, and a citizenship cannon that launches passports directly into campaign headquarters.

Democratic attorneys submitted an environmental study showing that border enforcement could devastate the delicate ecosystem of consultants billing six hundred dollars an hour.

One expert testified that a completed wall would interrupt the traditional journey from ‘person we’ve never met’ to ‘constituent whose personal story appears in our fundraising email.’

Trump offered to install gates.

The judge rejected them because opening and closing things suggested boundaries, which her court considered a gateway to responsibility.

Construction workers were ordered to camouflage the abandoned wall segments as renewable energy sculptures.

Democrats immediately approved fourteen billion dollars to study why the sculptures weren’t producing electricity.

As of press time, the judge had ordered November postponed until party officials could teach the revolving door to register itself in fifty states.