CANNES, FRANCE — In a stunning blow to capitalism delivered from the steps of a French villa, Kristen Stewart announced she is officially done making movies for “f**king billionaires” and will instead pursue true artistic freedom by uploading moody videos to YouTube, a tiny independent platform owned by several billionaires, sources have confirmed.
“I’m tired of rich people controlling art,” Stewart said while wearing a $4,000 black turtleneck, holding a $1,600 phone, and sipping espresso prepared by a man legally required to call her “ma’am.”
Her first project, The Revolution Will Be Monetized, will reportedly feature Stewart staring into a cracked mirror for 47 minutes while whispering, “late-stage capitalism,” until a Squarespace ad interrupts her pain.
Sources say the series will include episodes titled Billionaires Are Bad Except My Producers, Why Mansions Are Actually Trauma, and I’m Not Rich, I’m Just Financially Misunderstood.
Hollywood insiders praised Stewart’s bravery, noting it takes real courage to denounce the system only after the system gives you $70 million, global fame, and enough residual checks to fund a small communist island.
When asked whether YouTube being owned by billionaires undercut her message, Stewart sighed, looked into the distance, and performed the same expression she has used since 2008.
As of press time, Stewart had announced her second act: selling anti-capitalist merch for $89.99 through Amazon Prime.
Or,
How a multi-deca millionaire became a billionaire by bitching about them !
Sooooo Hollywood elite !
Couldn’t stand her then can’t stand her now 😒 always got a sneer on her face 🙄
Again, it’s the same hypocritical rants from Hollywood elite. Once they’ve made their big bucks and have lived in a bubble, then they come out and preach what the rest of the people should live like. She’s got as much clout in my book as the little squirrel sitting outside my window eating the bird food I’ve provided for it. Go back in your bubble and act or give ALL your money to charity and get a real job.
No doubt she’ll be back when her net worth hits about 65 million.
Does anyone seriously care what “celebrities” think? Perhaps I am an anomaly, but I could not conceivably care less.
JEH, Ohio
Somebody must care. Not in my household, but others who watch late night yawn-fests and certain talk shows that rhyme with “Spew.” Rediculous entertainment crowd always has a platform by default.
Who is this twit? ….. frankly I don’t give a damn. – Just another useless piece of sh*t.
Sooo tired of celebrity entitlement. Kristin Stewart is especially annoying because she really can’t act.
If people would quit WORSHIPPING these Hollywierdos, hopefully things would change. I’m not holding my breath…
Actors and actresses have it good. They are required to do only one job. The successful ones do it best.
The job you ask?
To tell lies to the public, and have them believe the lies.
So we are supposed to believe them?