Democrats reportedly reopened the investigation into FBI Director Kash Patel this week after realizing he celebrated Team USA’s hockey victory several days ago and still has not issued a formal apology to Canada, sources have confirmed
The delayed outrage began when a progressive fact-checker discovered video of Patel in a locker room committing what experts are calling “unsupervised patriotism.”
Though the gold medal was already won, left-wing strategists insisted the celebration’s emotional impact may still be unfolding, possibly spreading to other Americans without proper narrative clearance.
Cable panels immediately assembled to determine whether chanting “USA” violates emerging international vibe agreements.
One policy fellow warned that Patel’s beer chug could encourage “competitive excellence,” a gateway behavior historically linked to scorekeeping.
Several lawmakers demanded a retroactive sensitivity summit with Canadian officials, suggesting Patel should replace the locker room table-banging with a symbolic recycling ceremony.
Draft legislation would require all future victories to be celebrated at half-volume and accompanied by a 12-slide acknowledgment of global feelings.
Meanwhile, conservatives expressed confusion over the concept of apologizing for winning.
“It’s hockey,” one senator noted.
“Not a climate accord.”
Sources say a Democratic commission is now studying whether enjoying national success without consulting them first constitutes procedural democracy.
As of press time, activists were urging the NHL to consider awarding Canada a commemorative participation glacier to restore competitive balance.
Why does he have to Apologize?
This is ridiculous, stupid, and definitely unnecessary. Who in their right mind would think this garbage up. Oh yeah, undoubtedly a Democrat since they seem to have lost their minds collectively.
Stupid comments already. It’s fucking satire.
Stop taking your mom to bed you’re that delusional look at your Democrats Party already backstabbing each other. Oh Gabby Newton up there calling Black people stupid are you black or white but he’s called you stupid anyways.! don’t you worry about our comments go GRAB yourself bitch must be a Democrat. They’re maggots. They’re faggots their queers they’re transsexual drag queens their child molesters they believe in rainbows and fairytales stick your ass on a unicorn.! you don’t like my comment. Fuck yourself enjoy. NOW THAT’S SATIRE BOY.!
Give em hell dude!
I have never seen such negative attitude in sports did it’s a game America won it wasn’t a blowout unless the morons on the left deem it so.
Did The media go in the locker room and congratulate New England Patriots after losing.
Jessie Walters showed that the Obams, Jill bide, bide, and others at the Olympics in the locker rooms congratulating American teams but as usual it’s only wrong if it’s a Republican. They are real scum bags
Bull shit you Dems want it your way even time your not not happy.Eat Shit and Die losers losers
You can really tell who the damn idiots are in this country. So now you cannot celebrate a sports game on a international stage. These Democrats are really showing why they should be voted out of office on the MidTerm elections upcoming.
Since when are you required to apologize to a team for beating them by 1point,
🖕🏿the Democrats they are all traitors! They should all be on trial for treason they are nothing but terrorists.
it is quite clearly satire based upon the overwhelming stupidity of the left. He did catch heat for even being there from the left like the man is a slave owned by the Dem Slavemasters (some feelings never do die do they Lefty Massas!) the guy was there for good reason and he can have time off so lay off unless you want us to start tracking your every movement, which now that I have said that out loud is probably a good idea.
the problem is with Democrats you can’t tell whats satire and whats real anymore
I never heard any of the Democrats apologize or sympathize with the families of the americans’ (both children and adults) that were killed by the illegal people that the Democrats and President Biden let into the United States. The Democrats didn’t stand up for any of the people that lost loved ones or for the young man that was fighting cancer. The Democrats could not drop lower than they are now. They are total idiots and uncaring for what “We the People” want!. It’ll be a cold day in hell when Patel has to apologize to Canada!
So you Democrats stand in front of the TV camera and each one of you one by one apologize to each and every family that lost loved ones to the illegal people YOU DEMOCRATS let into the United States. The blood of the people killed is on the Democrats hands. We can’t wait for your re-election time! And those that vote against needing to show voter ID documents in order to vote are at the Top of the list! !
This is obviously BS satire, BUT it is intended to FOOL stupid MAGAts, who will believe anything bad about Democrats.
Yes it is, although not far from reality. I’m not a MAGA, just a normal person that appreciates common sense.
Just so you know the truth: Democrats have criticized FBI Director Kash Patel for attending the U.S. men’s hockey gold medal celebration in Milan, arguing that his presence—particularly in the locker room partying with players—was inappropriate given ongoing high-profile investigations. They question the use of taxpayer funds for what some call a personal trip disguised as official business.
Rep. Seth Moulton (D-Mass.) stated that Patel “does not love America,” accusing him of prioritizing political loyalty to Donald Trump over upholding the Constitution. Rep. Jason Crow (D-Colo.) called the trip a “grift & corruption,” saying, “Your taxpayer dollars funding the FBI Director’s Italian vacation.” Rep. Sean Casten (D-Ill.) mocked the timing, referencing the unresolved Jeffrey Epstein case while Patel partied in Italy.
But noone said anything about the Obamas’ many vacation junkets that cost the taxpayer hundreds of thousands each trip. Such hypocrits!
Take a look in the mirror stupid leftist.
Says the left staggering liberal snowflake. It is satire so go take your Prozac and a few deep breaths.
It appears that many left wing idiots have never had the pleasure of being in the locker room with a championship winning team!! I have and we saluted the team we beat in a shootout by 1 goal with the flying fickle finger of fate hundreds of times and dads and coaches did consume a few beers the players were like 15 year old boy that managed to hide out and share a few beers without the adults knowing.. Ha!! Like we didn’t know.. but boys will be boys and it was controlled by the team captains themselves!! Great kids and fun times for players, parents and coaches.. no apologies were asked for and none were presented. So if adult hockey players want to have beers with adult supporters so be it!! Have fun everyone and a GREAT win for the USA!!!!!!💥😉
What about them two dumbass AOC and Newscum flying to foreign countries that they had no reason to be there. So those two dumbasses can waste taxpayers money and nothing ever said about why where they there in the first place they have nothing to do with foreign affairs.
So go pound sand democrats. And the two stupidest democrats.
What about them two dumbass AOC and Newscum flying to foreign countries that they had no reason to be there. So those two dumbasses can waste taxpayers money and nothing ever said about why where they there in the first place they have nothing to do with foreign affairs.
So go pound sand democrats. And the two stupidest democrats.
ATTENTION COMMENTERS this is not a real news site, it is a satire site poking fun at the left. These are not real stories, these things did not actually happen. Like the Babylon bee, meant to be funny and make fun of lefties and their silly attitudes
Hard to believe but real or not I’m so sick of Democrats and what they have become. They have ignored our laws and are trying to destroy our country all in the name of Hatred. They are mentally unstable.
What the h××l. No body should apologize for supporting and celebrating the USA hockey team winning. NOBODY….we the citizens of this great country are PROUD of them. They won the gold medal. The team should hold their heads high and celebrate. We as a country should celebrate. CASE CLOSED.
Cash Patel. 🙄
Another trump humping loser ass hole.