The Left doubled down on its warning that the coast will be underwater any day now, immediately after welcoming Kamala Harris as the newest card carrying member of the Malibu elite, sources have confirmed
Harris reportedly spent millions on an oceanfront home just miles from where she previously scolded coastal residents for destroying the environment, proving once again that climate guilt works best when applied to other people.
Locals say the former vice president now resides among the very “climate offenders” she once warned were living on borrowed time.
“As someone who believes the coastline is moments from collapse, I felt it was important to secure a permanent residence here,” Harris allegedly told friends while installing industrial strength air conditioning, radiant heating, and enough electricity hungry luxury appliances to melt a small glacier.
Left wing activists applauded the move, explaining that climate change is real, urgent, and deadly, which is why responsible leaders buy beachfront property before the masses figure it out.
CNN praised Harris’s courage, noting it takes bravery to lecture Americans about sacrifice while enjoying sunset views over the allegedly doomed Pacific.
Political analysts confirmed the Left’s climate timeline remains consistent with student loan forgiveness and universal healthcare.
Always coming.
Never arriving.
Definitely expensive.
As of press time Harris assured voters the coast is still collapsing soon, just not before her closing date and property value appreciation.
Everyone knows she and her party are hypocrites! Thank God she didn’t win the election, you just can’t believe anything these current Democrats spew as logic … there is NONE!
I don’t know who writes these articles – or how you have the continuing ability to pull new wokeness from the air – BUT your articles are GREAT.
This seems to be pure humor with a very real message. The left are nuts.
LOW IQ IDIOT DEMOCRAT PLANTATION SLAVES.
Common sense is not in their noggin. Just lies, criminal activity, hypocritical ideologies, distructive behavior and violent words. Hypocrite HARRIS helped bail out VIOLENT BLM idiots. She is a nincompoop.!.!.!
■ I was born and raised southwest of Chicago. My parents lived near Cicero Street.
Al Capone=Cicero. Barack Obama=Chicago.
You know…the Criminals. The Black Gang and Latino Gang, Blood Gang and the Crips Gang were all VIOLENT. Does low IQ idiot Democrat Plantation Governor PRITZKER ever heard of them?
The BLUE run STATES harbor the worst of the worst. Maybe because their Politicians are also Dirty and get kickbacks? They don’t seem to concentrate on the Gangs and go after them with a vengeance.
Why would they?
Flooding, landslides, and falling into the ocean are all answers to the frequent forest fires.
They may also be the answers to the Kameltoelas 2028 Presidential bid !