Zohran Mamdani reportedly announced a bold new chapter for public safety this week after appointing a former inmate to run the city’s jail system, explaining that incarceration works best when led by someone who’s already memorized the floor plan, sources have confirmed
At a press conference, Mamdani praised the appointment as “transformational,” noting that no one understands the criminal justice system better than someone who successfully navigated it while avoiding guards, consequences, and rehabilitation pamphlets.
“This isn’t about crime,” Mamdani said while adjusting a $4,000 suit. “It’s about lived experience, restorative vibes, and making sure jail feels less like jail and more like a taxpayer-funded reflection space.”
The new commissioner reportedly plans to replace punishment with trust circles, replace solitary confinement with journaling, and rebrand cells as “micro-apartments for justice-impacted individuals.”
Critics expressed concern, but city officials dismissed them as outdated, pointing out that socialism only applies to everyone else’s money, not the six-figure salary attached to the new role.
Mamdani assured New Yorkers the policy would reduce crime by eliminating the stigma of accountability, adding that guards will now be trained to listen instead of enforce.
As of press time city officials were considering appointing a former carjacker as head of transportation for balance.
I could see this working…
When I was a kid, my Grandfather had a pet fox on his chicken farm.
He assigned his fox the job of guarding the chicken coup.
From that day forward, no OTHER foxes ever ate my grandfathers chickens !
Sounds like a glorified Baby-Sitting appointment. As Charlie Brown said, “Good Grief”
And like the comedian said, “Ya can’t fix stupid.”
Yeah, this is going to work really well (sarcasm in case you are not sure.)
You all voted for this muslim now live with him if you where stupid enough to vote for your stupid enough to live with him. The cesspool is overflowing into the streets of NY and it going to really bad.
I seem to remember a while back some quote in a book or movie, “the inmates are running the asylum”. And some random thoughts of a Cheech & Chong movie or two.
One flew over the coocoos (sp?) nest?
When the public gets dumbed down low enough, democracy goes into the crapper.
New York is finished, and the dummies did it to themselves.
Is “justice-impacted individuals” going to replace what we currently refer to as “convicts”? It will be soon.
Bologna sandwiches replaced by ribeye steaks.