During a press conference Wednesday, Baltimore Mayor Brandon Scott reportedly insisted the nearly $890,000 in taxpayer-funded meals, parties, and luxury game-day tabs proves his administration is “laser-focused on responsible budgeting.”
According to Scott, critics simply fail to appreciate the restraint his office has shown.
“Previous administrations might’ve approved 20 crab feasts,” Scott explained while adjusting a commemorative Ravens foam finger in the mayoral suite.
“We kept it to about a modest dozen. That’s what fiscal discipline looks like.”
The mayor also defended the $52,000 spent on luxury suite food at Ravens and Orioles games, explaining that leadership requires certain sacrifices.
“You expect the mayor of Baltimore to watch the Ravens from the couch with a bag of chips and a warm beer?”
Scott reportedly said.
“Come on now. Leadership requires crab dip.”
Scott added that the lavish farewell party for a $190,000-a-year adviser who technically never left City Hall was completely justified.
“He did leave,” the mayor clarified. “He moved his office across the hall.
That’s absolutely a farewell-party-level transition.”
When asked why the administration seems less concerned about Baltimore’s Volvo-sized potholes, abandoned buildings, and crumbling infrastructure, Scott reportedly assured reporters the issues are being addressed.
“My Jeep has upgraded suspension and run-flat tires,” he explained. “You barely feel the potholes.”
Sources say the vehicle’s heavily tinted windows also help maintain focus by preventing abandoned buildings and collapsing row homes from “visually distracting leadership.”
As of press time, Scott reportedly approved an emergency $14,000 balloon arch to celebrate the city’s potholes being reclassified from “craters” to “urban speed bumps.”













i live in Baltimore and they voting these crooks into office our last Mayor went to jail he needs to be prosecuted for spending the tax payers money like it’s his personal funds
The Mayor is the beneficiary of race-based election decisions.
DEI – Definitely Entering Incarceration
Well, you can take the brother out of the hood, but you can’t take the hood out of the brother.
Baltimore has a long and storied history of chronic Democratic corruption. Room-temperature IQ rated voters keep voting these leeches into office, after all.
Yikes!
He needs removed from office immediately, and made to payback what he stole from the Taxpayers, we Taxpayers must demand justice from these thieves, and we should Not be paying for any parties, vacations, maybe a set down dinner when it is business dinner and only allowed 2 a year on Taxpayers money, the government doesn’t pay for my vacations which I can’t afford one thanks to the government, they make way to much money, honestly need a pay cut, they can pay for their own vacations, parties, and a 20 year freeze on raises for these thieves, I only got 10. Dollar raise on my Social Security, that is an insult, they give S.S. People a raise then jack up Medicare that take almost all of the measly raise
Just another black democrat DEI mentality that the taxpayers money is his ATM card to do what ever he wants. Don’t question me I control everything it’s my business account.
Yep keep voting for corrupt democrats that become rich overnight. Democrats aren’t laughing at you every day stupid taxpayers.