McDonald’s has given in to the longstanding demands of the public and introduced “The Pounder,” a new hamburger four times the size of their signature Quarter Pounder, sources confirmed.
“Buckle up and get ready for your date with destiny,” said McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski. “Because on December 1st, your wildest dreams are coming true. The Pounder is finally here. Available in a value menu for just $37, or on its own for just 28 bucks, we think you’ll agree that The Pounder is irresponsibly huge. We’ll see you soon!”
Consumers welcomed the announcement of McDonald’s biggest and most expensive sandwich yet.
“Oh hell yeah, no more buying Quarter Pounders four at a time and constructing my own Pounders in the car,” said local McDonald’s customer Andrew Gladwin. “It was such a pain in the ass and created so much garbage. I’m so happy McDonald’s is finally listening to their audience. We don’t want salads and snack wrap bullshit. We want the Pounder, baby!”
As of press time, McDonald’s assured the public that consuming the Pounder wouldn’t be hazardous to their health, as long as they ordered it with no onions.
Your coronary arteries will appreciate this.
Yes, Now I will be able to see chunks of meat surging through my veins
and know when the big one is going to hit.
Do anyone want to chip in and buy about a hundred for Kamala (with plenty of onions)?
The fact that people are dying after eating at McDonald’s is proof that she really has worked there!
Well said! Bravo!
That much hot beef is making me horny!!!
Me too!!!
Knock it off girl!! With Elon Musk giving millions to voters in swing states, you best get dem knee pads out and git to work!!!
Hey Pete! Contact tampon Tim for one of his booty bumping kits they distribute to dopers in Minnesota . Actual beef injection!!