Melania Trump supporters have launched a grassroots boycott of Jimmy Kimmel Live! after years of the host’s relentless Trump family mockery, sources have confirmed.
The peaceful campaign, dubbed “Melania’s Magnificent No-Watch,” has reportedly sent Kimmel’s ratings further into a death spiral so deep even Hunter Biden’s laptops are asking if he’s okay.
Across America, living rooms once polluted by nasal Trump-bashing are now filled with the beautiful sound of refrigerators humming, dogs snoring, and fathers muttering, “See? This is better.”
Democrats and their media emotional-support hamsters immediately melted down, calling the voluntary boycott “undemocratic,” “literally fascism,” and “the worst attack on comedy since someone asked Stephen Colbert to be funny.”
This, of course, comes from the same crowd that spent years laughing at Trump assassination “jokes,” Melania accent roasts, and 900 nightly variations of “Orange Man Bad,” only to collapse into a fainting couch the moment conservatives discovered the remote control.
Disney insiders whisper that Kimmel’s show is now circling the drain faster than a socialist economy with free bus fare.
In response, frantic leftists have organized protests, human roadblocks, and a petition demanding government-mandated viewership “to save democracy from consumer choice.”
“How dare they boycott us after we boycotted truth, borders, and basic biology!” wailed one gender studies major duct-taped to the studio gate while being misted with oat milk.
At press time, Kimmel was reportedly rocking in the fetal position wearing a “Love Trumps Hate” onesie while producers auditioned therapy llamas, MSNBC interns, and one moderately talented sock puppet to replace him.
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