Monopoly Court Orders Google to Close Offices on Park Place and Boardwalk

A monopoly court has ruled that Google must close its corporate offices located in the upscale Boardwalk and Park Place neighborhoods, sources have confirmed. 

“Enough is enough, Google has had a monopoly for far too long,” said Professor Plum, the economics professor recently cleared of murder charges. “With their stranglehold on all the best real estate locations in those two posh areas, no other businesses stand a chance. It’s time to break up their Monopoly. They’re still allowed to exist as a business, you see. But they won’t have such an unfair control of the market. Did you see those hotels they built? No working family can afford those.” 

Despite Plum’s concern for them, middle and low-class citizens say this has been an issue for a much longer time than people may have realized. 

“No one batted an eye when they took control of all the crack houses and liquor stores on Mediterranean Avenue,” said Baltic Avenue Apartments resident Joe Harper. “But now that they’re hogging up Park Place and Boardwalk, everyone’s freaking out about it. Cry me a river. You didn’t see what Google’s Monopoly did to this proud, purple neighborhood years ago.” 

As of press time, Harper had been sent to jail for being late on his monthly rent of four dollars.