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MTV’s Wild Child Now Milks Goats in Ontario

Joe King by Joe King
April 26, 2025
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Tom Green
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Once MTV’s king of cringe, Tom Green has traded Tinseltown’s glitz for a barnyard in rural Ontario, sources have confirmed.

The man behind Freddy Got Fingered now wakes at dawn to milk goats, churn butter, and preach the gospel of “back-to-the-land” living.



Insiders say Green’s fed up with Hollywood’s woke dogma, opting instead for a simpler life among livestock and hay bales. “He’s done with liberal elites,” a neighbor scoffed, noting Tom’s new passion for flannel and distrust of urban coffee shops.

Conservative X users are hailing him as a renegade, with memes dubbing him “Farmer Tom, the Anti-Woke Icon.”

Critics, however, suspect a midlife crisis or a bizarre publicity stunt, pointing to Green’s recent YouTube channel, Tom’s Goat Talks, where he rants about Big Tech while stroking a billy goat.

The left mocks his pivot, claiming he’s just cosplaying as a rugged individualist.

As of press time, Green was spotted serenading his herd with a boombox, belting out “Bum Bum Song” to confused goats.

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