In a dazzling triumph of socialist innovation that will surely make Lenin weep with joy, New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani has proudly announced his groundbreaking government-owned grocery store will cost a mere $30 million and take just three luxurious years to build, sources have confirmed.
The glorious 9,000-square-foot people’s supermarket in East Harlem is being constructed entirely from scratch because, as any true Marxist knows, nothing says “equality” like a state-run store that takes longer to open than it took to build the pyramids.
When pressed on what revolutionary wonders await shoppers, Mamdani beamed that there will be an “essential basket of goods” sold at prices that are almost, kind of, sort of cheaper than the greedy capitalist stores that somehow manage to open in mere months without five layers of diversity equity inclusion officers.
Industry experts nearly choked on their capitalist coffee.
“$30 million?” one veteran grocer laughed.
“For that price we could build a store, stock it with gold-plated steaks, and still have enough left over for a private helipad and a small navy.”
Another added, “This isn’t a grocery store — it’s a jobs program for socialist buddies, consultants, and people who think ‘profit’ is a hate crime.”
Rumors suggest half the budget will fund mandatory re-education classes on why canned beans are problematic, gender-neutral produce labeling, and a shrine to Che Guevara in the frozen foods section.
The actual food?
Optional.
As of press time, Mayor Mamdani was reportedly planning four more identical stores across the boroughs, because the best way to fix the disasters of socialism is obviously more socialism — preferably at taxpayer expense and with maximum delay.
Mamdani ruining NYC is why we moved to S Carolina, where we will watch sadly & cry along with millions watching radical Islam (Mamdani is a Muslim) destroy New York City (to finish the job after 9-11)!
Absolutely true. The goal all along.
I completely agree his goal is to ruin everything and drive out the inhabitants and then move in his kinfolk.
Radical Islam only continues its centuries long goal of infesting the entire world with socialism and sharia law – enforced, of course, at the point of a gun.
Why do I keep thinking of the story “The Emperor’s New Clothes” and its moral.
When was the last time a million communists were right about anything?
And until the other four boroughs are graced with their own Mandami monstrosities, residents of Queens, Brooklyn, Staten Island and the Bronx can take Mandami’s yet to be free buses to this grocery store in high crime East Harlem, and hope they can make it back home without having their purchases stolen.
The budget for Grocery Stores 5 for $70 million. The first, 30 million. Socialist Math is awesome. Please keep all the stupid fucks who voted for this idiot in NYC so they can fully appreciate the intelligence of their decisions in the coming months.
I’ll bet that WalMart is really worried!!
Another classic synopsis! Nice job everyone!
This idiot Muslim will destroy New York and New Yorkers…He will reap the profits with his agenda…He didn’t run to become just the mayor, he ran because he saw the opportunity to add to his pocketbook…He and his wife will leave office with millions of taxpayer money in his bank account..Then when he gets investigated, the racists (Democrats) will say it’s a witch hunt because he is a Muslim…….Good luck New York and to all the idiots who voted for this crook……….
Basic commodity foods? That’s an old USDA Food Program called the USDA Commodity Foods. And they were free. He is really going to earn the monniker “Zoran the Moron” isn’t he?
USDA COMMODITY FOOD PROGRAM
Dairy: Massive five-pound blocks of processed yellow cheese (often called “Government Cheese”), powdered milk, and butter.
Proteins: Canned meats such as chopped pork, beef in gravy, canned chicken, and peanut butter.
Grains: Large bags of white rice, cornmeal, all-purpose flour, and rolled oats.
Dried Goods: Dried beans (pinto, navy, or kidney beans), raisins, and occasionally dried egg mix.
Other Surpluses: Depending on the season and regional surpluses, participants might receive lard, canned fruit (like apricots or applesauce), and canned vegetables.
Mamdani asshole good luck with price dealings against companies like Walmart Costco and Sam’s Club and big grocery chain stores. NYC taxpayers will again have to bail out another government agency failure. Just another democrat schmuck selling camel sh-t.
New Yorkers don’t be upset about what your mayor is doing you elected that POS.
Like California there must be something in the air in NYC. They can elect Communists like Mundami, a street tramp like AOC(although considering from
what I hear is going on in her district she might be the street pimp), cowards like Chuck Schumer & Hakeem Jeffries both of whom are afraid they are going to get “primaried” by that street tramp and Alvin Bragg, a corrupt prosecutor who is an expert at raising up felonies from misdemeanors that the Statute of limitations expired on with phony, legal theories and finding a conflicted judge to rule in his favor.