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Home Entertainment

Newsom, Kamala, and AOC Walk Into a Bar, Immediately Begin 2028 Opposite-Day Primary

Joe King by Joe King
August 13, 2026
in Entertainment, Politics, U.S. News
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Gavin Newsom, Kamala Harris, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez walked into a bar Tuesday, demanded the same stool, ordered the same drink, and each insisted they had invented it first, sources have confirmed.

The bartender served Newsom a California Special: overpriced, heavily regulated, three years late, and accompanied by a taxpayer-funded study proving everyone loved it.



Harris ordered the exact same thing, then explained she had always opposed it.

AOC demanded the richest person in the bar pay everyone’s tab until someone quietly pointed toward the donor section.

“Stop weaponizing context,” she replied.

The bartender then installed the 2028 Democratic Campaign Switch, allowing candidates to flip every position between ON and OFF depending on polling.

Voter ID: OFF Monday, ON Tuesday.

Tax breaks: evil before lunch, essential by dinner.

Lower bills: promised constantly, delivered sometime after inauguration.

Tax the rich: permanently ON unless donors are present.

Republicans reportedly admitted they helped create AOC’s martyr status, prompting Newsom to commission a $12 million study on how to become more oppressed.

Harris immediately announced she had been oppressed first.

As of press time, all three agreed America desperately needed consistency, then flipped the switch and denied ever saying it.

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Comments 11

  1. Kevin Quenneville says:
    7 hours ago

    Now that sounds just like DEMARATS LIARS, They have that switch one day they approve the next day I never said that, back peddling, just like fuck head Zohran Mamdani’s mouth full of down right liar, free buses, free day care , government run grocery 30 percent below average cost, tax ,tax , tax, the hell out of
    everyone and anything, asshole mamdani you

    Reply
  2. Joe Modarots says:
    6 hours ago

    Gavin Newscum, Kamaltoela Harris and Alexhaustya Alaccostia Kotex walked into a bar…
    The Bartender said, “ Get the fuck out of here ! “

    Reply
    • Tuns says:
      5 hours ago

      lol!

      Reply
  3. M says:
    5 hours ago

    Larry, Curly, and Moe.

    Reply
    • Mike. Mike says:
      10 minutes ago

      Please don’t insult the three stooges like that.

      Reply
  4. Gayle says:
    4 hours ago

    Trump loves Communists so much that his administration closely follows Putin. He has started a war on Iran, took over Venezuela oil company, making arrangements to take over Greenland and loves making his own rules. He doesnt like Supreme Court and tskes his thugs into the Capital who attack police officers. He then paroles his thugs turning the crooks back out on our streets.

    Reply
    • Angel says:
      3 hours ago

      I’ll have what Gayle’s drinking please! Oh, wait…that’s just the libtard propaganda being parroted. Never mind.

      Reply
    • Joe Modarots says:
      1 hour ago

      Gayle,
      The Hilary Clinton/DNC originated Russia Collusion hoax was debunked years ago…
      He is stopping a nuclear war occurring from Iran…
      Your Socialists/Communists completely destroyed Venezuela, one of the formally freest and
      most prosperous Democratic countries in all of Latin America, and they can use all the help that Trump is willing to provide…
      Greenland is still a sovereign country…
      Trump lives as President under the rules of Article 2 of our Constitution. He will continue to do so endless and until your Socialists/Communist friends are successful in eliminating Article 2
      as they purport they will do…
      Though he may not agree with all their decisions, which he openly explains when and why, he absolutely believes in the Supreme Court as prescribed in article 3 of our Constitution and will continue to do so endless or until your Socialists/Communist friends are successful in eliminating article 3 as they purport they will do…
      The “ March down to the Capitol and fight, fight, fight” hoax was also debunked years ago…

      Reply
    • Lorinda says:
      45 minutes ago

      You poor thing.

      Reply
  5. Carlos Hernandez says:
    2 hours ago

    Democrats work for those who believes in free lunches. Vote republican, go to work, don’t expect or believe the sirene sings, heading for disaster and disappointment

    Reply
  6. Duane says:
    2 hours ago

    Gayle must be worried about the fraud money they are receiving being taken away by the Trump administration. Must be why the economy is improving. Democrats fraudulent money is being discovered and stopped that’s why the DNC is about 2 million in debt.

    Reply

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