WASHINGTON: “No Kings” organizers lost control of their nonpartisan rally Saturday when participants declared the event guidelines an oppressive monarchy and elected a Democratic yard sign president, sources have confirmed.
Trouble began when a volunteer reminded attendees that candidate campaigning was prohibited.
“You’re not my dad!” shouted a man whose mother had driven him there.
Asked to remove Democratic merchandise, protesters formed a defensive circle around a donkey balloon and demanded asylum.
One attendee arrived in blue, dragging a campaign booth disguised as a service animal.
“The rules never specified cobalt,” she explained.
Organizers clarified that the restriction concerned partisanship, not colors.
She accused them of moving the goalposts and demanded federal regulation of goalposts.
The crowd then issued seventeen demands, including abolishing authority, mandatory attendance, approved chanting, and disciplinary action against anyone questioning the committee.
A Freedom Marshal confiscated an unauthorized sandwich.
“We can’t defeat authoritarianism if people keep making independent decisions,” he explained.
Attempts to restore order collapsed when protesters declared the microphone public property, then restricted access to people who agreed with them.
A meeting produced a compromise: everyone could express themselves freely after submitting their expression for approval.
As of press time, the rally had split into rival factions after organizers said it was time to leave and participants demanded to know who made them king.
Bravo,Lefties.. You’re doing a great job. Still no Kings here. Bravo.
Lets outfit no king s crowd with confederate unforms. Without consent of the governed they set up lawless sanctuary cities. As ICE continues to protect the abuse governed lets bring out union troups to sing battle hymm of the republic. A0C and bernie the shmaggie can parade their uniforms as we set up prisoner of war camps for you
Well said, my friend. Bread and water only.
I’d think whoever wrote the “rules” had to go to the ER after winking continually while compiling them.
well he’s right, nobody owns protest but the protesters
I am appalled by the blindness of the ‘woke’. If you look at history, it is becoming apparent that we will be the next Rome. We are destroying ourselves…