The “No Kings” protest continued its tour of major American cities this week, leaving behind blocked roadways, flattened flowerbeds, and enough kitty litter to fill a NASCAR pit, sources have confirmed.
What began as a march against “oppression” quickly devolved into what witnesses described as “Woodstock for people who hate showers.”
Among the crowd were senior citizens waving No Kings signs beside aides reminding them it was nearly nap time, and self-proclaimed “Furries” wearing adult-sized cat and dog costumes.
One “kitty” reportedly used their personal litter box mid-protest, inspiring chants of “Power to the Paws.”
Ironically, the movement’s central message—“No Kings”—was overshadowed by participants acting like royalty: barking orders at bystanders, demanding streets be cleared for their tantrums, and expecting city workers to clean up their “divine mess.”
When law enforcement approached a protester dressed as a life-sized penis for indecent exposure, he immediately screamed “oppression!” before attempting to crown himself “King of Expression.”
Republican officials and DHS representatives repeatedly asked the group to respect property and protest peacefully.
They were met with shouts of “No Kings! Don’t tell me where to walk! I pee where I want!”
As of press time, local landscapers estimate cleanup will take months and at least three gallons of hand sanitizer per square foot.
A life-sized penis, on average, is about 5.5 inches long. You said someone dressed up as a life-sized penis — how much of that person fit into the costume?
LMAO!
Good one !!! That just PROVES he’s just a BIG DICK !!!
The guy in the costume is a big dick.
Does that help?
Bob,
I think they must have misspoke…
I don’t think they meant penis. I think they must have meant prick.
After all , an average penis may be 5.5 inches, but there’s no end to those pricks ! 👍😁
I think I recognize some of those pricks from Yasgur’s farm ! ( Woodstock, summer of ‘69 )
Looking at the ignorant and stupid that are being paid to destroy America . No wonder hell is increasing . It’s time for a notice by our President for all illegals to get out of America within 15 days Send these rioters and judges and democrats with them . Or otherwise face a force multiplier. Over 90% of these people are illegals and on every benefit that the American legal worker pays for. All compliments of Democrats. You do remember the oath they took to work for Americans not illegals Those fools who are going to come after Other Americans when their food stamps end Nov2 . Believe they are entitled to steal because they have been allowed to . That program was not meant to provide food for whores/or illegals who drop their drawers or break our laws by being here And simply because they pop out babies to sit on their anus Thank God Trump is our President. Why ? because these rioters are not protestors for Americans rights. All of them are enemies of this country. Stop calling illegals Americans! And those who call themselves Americans while lined up with our enemies Are not Americans and will be treated as such . Must realize your slave masters like Soros ordered this. Because they knew you were stupid . It’s a way to start a civil war.
Why ? Because they know White people have had enough of blacks and illegals . That’s the day the second civil war will begin If you are fools enough to believe we will continue to let you kill our people then bring it on .
It appears they want 1860 all over again . It’s funny because these democrats are the ancestors of the slave plantation owners and their masters . Still doing the same crap
It’s time to give them notice to get out or face a . Well let’s say .
can tell there a lot of intelligent people on here believing this–lol magna people of course
What is magna???? O. M. G. What are we dealing with. Thank you President Trump for trying to put this Country back on track. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
We Can tell who you are as well.
This satire is great. Because they were dressed up like idiots. Truth laced up as funny ! Sometimes that’s the only way to stomach their decline . It shows the world their mentality ! It’s usually a pink vagina hat or vagina costume the pathetic wear. Screaming for the right to murder babies or other Americans.
How : because your kind their kind always uses the boob tubes narrative Insulting the Make America great Again your attack platform ! If you are against America! Then who are you for ?
Remember this !
Heaven has order
Hell is nothing but chaos
Who do you think is running the entire agenda
PS Satire is the only way to tell the truth so the propagandized can see
My only question is. Why were they allowed to destroy what does not belong to them
PAID BLOWHARDS & 90% ARE IN ThIS COUNTRY ILLEGALLY BUT PAPA SOROS & CCP HAVE LOTS OF MONEY TO KEEP THEM HAPPY< STUPID & MOST LIKELY HIGH !!! TIME FOR TRUMP , DOJ, HOMELAND SECURITY. TO BRING THE THE REAL MEN & WOMEN IN AND US TAXPAYERS SHOULD SAY SCREW YOU & ADIOS !. !!!!!!