CHICAGO, IL: Obama Presidential Center leadership declared solidarity with exploited workers Thursday, then called security when those workers turned out to be theirs, sources have confirmed.
“We stand with labor,” announced management from a balcony workers were forbidden to use.
Employees requesting better treatment received a motivational email explaining that hope was included in their compensation package and change remained subject to budget approval.
One worker asked about a raise.
Management handed him a stepladder.
Unpaid contractors entered the “Progress Pavilion,” where their invoices were shredded into confetti for a gala celebrating economic opportunity.
“It’s not wage theft,” explained a spokesperson.
“Your paycheck is undergoing a historic transition.”
Nearby renters received eviction notices embossed with Obama’s smiling face.
“Yes We Can,” the notices read.
“And Your Landlord Just Did.”
Democratic officials praised the center for bringing prosperity to the neighborhood, specifically to three landlords and the guy renting out moving trucks.
When workers formed a union, leadership unveiled a “Workers’ Rights” exhibit featuring a velvet rope to keep actual workers away.
Every complaint activated a loudspeaker shouting “TRUMP!”
Contractors eventually discovered that yelling “Republicans!” at the accounting window earned them a souvenir pencil.
As of press time, management had recognized the union’s demands by printing them on cocktail napkins for a $500 dinner honoring the dignity of working people.
The Obama Library is a “monument” to every thing rotten and disgraceful about the Democrats.
I agree. Not just because he is a Democrat; but because thanks to his bringing in planeloads of unvetted Muslims and subversively sending by night a pallet load of American money to who knows who, we now face serious consequences from all of that and Americas actual foundations of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness are in danger