PARIS — Paris Deputy Mayor Audrey Pulvar reportedly blamed Americans and their reckless use of air conditioning for Europe’s latest heat wave, bravely confronting the crisis by identifying a country located thousands of miles away, sources have confirmed.
According to witnesses, Pulvar unveiled her emergency plan during a press conference titled Responsibility Is For Other Countries, where she explained that Americans cooling their homes were clearly the real problem.
“Why should they have cold air when we have warm complaints?” one aide reportedly asked.
Officials stressed the city would not be mocking the seriousness of dangerous heat, only solving it in the traditional bureaucratic way: blaming someone else, forming a committee, and printing posters.
Parisians waiting for practical solutions like cooling centers, infrastructure improvements, or emergency planning were instead handed pamphlets explaining how refrigerators in Ohio had personally betrayed Europe.
Experts say the strategy reflects a growing political trend in which leaders confront problems by locating the nearest available American and pointing dramatically.
The city also launched a new awareness campaign urging citizens to fight extreme temperatures by feeling morally superior to Texas.
When asked whether Paris might consider expanding air conditioning access for vulnerable residents, officials reportedly gasped and warned that copying America could lead to other dangerous habits, such as customer service and ice in drinks.
As of press time, Pulvar had reportedly blamed the Eiffel Tower’s shadow on colonial architecture and announced a task force to investigate whether Florida ceiling fans were making France sweaty.
It sounds like satire but it probably isn’t.
You just can’t fix stupid…..
This is Paris’ solution for eliminating the elderly. This also eliminates the pensions, medical, food and housing costs of this part of their population. Frees up apartments and resources for their new population of rapists and murderers.
I don’t even know where to start here. Its hot here too.
Is the heirarchy air conditioned in Europe?
A “hierarchy” includes everyone or everything; it’s just a list arranged in order of a certain characteristic’s rating for persons, groups, products, countries, etc. If you mean are the wealthiest French people air-conditioned, I’d guess the answer is “yes.”
STUPID has found a new level… not surprising that it comes out of the French government where modern-day stupid was founded and apparently is thriving as witnessed by the recent Marxist blame game of fear mongering in the article about
¡vieja loca! nada que ver.
The EU is sweltering. In the UK you can be arrested for using a window AC. It will be removed. Forty drownings in France due to people seeking relief in the waterways. How much longer do you think it will be before they take away heat? Fewer people supposedly make for a better climate and therefore a better earth. While I agree we could do better to protect the earth, killing us off really isn’t the answer.
I am so sorry my use of air conditioning is causing a heat wave in Paris France.
You have humbled me, and I am working on a solution, so you people in Paris France will not be so hot.
By the estimations, and our continued hard work, for at least 16 hours per day, our team of engineers are sure, positive, and are willing to ensure that our solution will cause your heat wave to go away in September, a more rapid decrease of ambient temperatures by October.
We are expecting that Paris France will be so cooled off by November, that sweaters will be worn, and some non-thinking Parasites will using heaters in their homes and businesses.
Certainly, American-caused, excessive sweating is causing Europeans to stink. I couldn’t possibly be poor hygiene.
MISSION BBQ is air conditioned. Both our local gun ranges are air conditioned. I had the pleasure of entertaining a married couple from UK, here for FIFA. Saturday, they are joining us for a cookout by my brother’s pool. I hope they meet some future pen pals. Chicken, corn, burgers, hotdogs, and pigs feet.
We just have to retain our sense of humor.