Following the apprehension of United Healthcare assassination suspect Luigi Mangione, his brother Mario has been brought in by police for questioning, sources confirm.
“You’ve-a got the wrong guy,” insisted the iconic star of dozens of Nintendo video games. “That Luigi you’ve arrested, that’s-a not my brother. My brother is a big coward who-a cries when anything happens to him. No way he’s-a capable of murder!”
Fans rallied to the defense of the star of last year’s hit Super Mario Bros. film.
“Poor Mario can’t catch a break,” said local gamer Walter Hubbard. “Remember when he almost went to jail for kidnapping Princess Peach and then it turned out that Donkey Kong had framed him? What a mess. That poor plumber has been through so much, I wish we’d just let him live his life in peace already.”
As of press time, Mario had escaped the authorities on a go-kart using a strategically deployed system of banana peels and turtle shells. He remains on the loose.
McDonald’s, “One More Served With Arrest”.
It was Luigi’s decision to go surfing and the severe injuries he suffered are his fault. Doctors can only do so much. I have suffered life long back pain after an injury in 1977. It was my fault. Not insurance or doctors. I understand his pain, but it was his choice to print a gun and take the man’s life who had nothing to do his choices in life. He should hang for his crimes.
Shoulda went to Burger King….LOL
That’s a good one…LOL…..and probably true!
And get it his way, impossible meat! Made from very questionable.. uh, ingredients?