Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. easily bested Joe Biden in a basic cognitive function test earlier today, despite what appeared to be a family of worms protruding from the top of his head, sources have confirmed.
“Time to let the cat out of the bag, or the worms as it were,” said Kennedy, speaking to horrified members of the press earlier today. “I revealed my brain worm situation from back in 2012 this week as a sort of dry run to see how the media would handle this entire family of worms I’ve got living in my brain. So here they are. I won’t be hiding them any longer.”
After removing his hairpiece and insisting he was fine to take the written portion of the test, Kennedy outscored Biden by a significant margin, administrators of the test confirmed.
“He hardly aced it, but yeah, miles ahead of Biden,” said Professor Cheryl Walker. “He’s able to distinguish reality from fiction, and the past from the present. That alone gives him a huge advantage. And while it’s true he spent a lot of the oral portion of the exam going on and on about proper filtration systems and how we should all be eating sushi from freshwater to save the oceans, it still actually made more sense than what Biden was talking about during his exam. So yeah, Kennedy won all around.”
“He should really get those worms checked out though,” she added.
As of press time, when reporters asked Kennedy how his brain-worm situation could be medically possible, he informed them it all worked a lot like that movie Ratatouille.
I hate when that happens
That is just proof that Biden has had his worms for many many more years . He has always been a squish brain.