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Trump Releases Five VP Candidates Into Jungle To See Who Survives

Joe King by Joe King
May 11, 2024
in Politics
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Trump Releases Five VP Candidates Into Jungle To See Who Survives
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Donald Trump is reportedly narrowing in on his vice presidential selection, reportedly having released five candidates into the woods and promising the survivor the role. 

“It’s time to prove how bad you want this,” said Trump, addressing his five vice presidential candidates in his living room before turning them loose in the woods for the evening. “In your backpacks you each have one gun, one knife, and one map. I only expect one of you to make it out of the woods alive, and that person will be given the highest honor in the land, the Vice Presidency of the United States.”



Though some of the politicians were hesitant to participate, some jumped at the chance to further their career.

“This is the exact type of opportunity I’ve been waiting for,” said presumptive Vice Presidential candidate Florida Senator Marco Rubio, while applying warpaint to his face shortly before the hunt began. “Doug Burgum’s too old, Tim Scott’s not built for this, and Elise Stefanik will be dead before the sun goes down. Looks like the VP job is all mine.”

As of press time, Marjorie Taylor-Greene had parachuted into the jungle where the competition was being held, despite not being invited to participate.

Tags: electiontrumpvice presidentVP
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Comments 4

  1. Rose says:
    1 year ago

    Not interested in any of those

    Reply
  2. Gonzo Bat says:
    1 year ago

    Kristi took her self out when she immediately shot her pack animal and her scout…

    Reply
  3. Gonzo Bat says:
    1 year ago

    Kristi took herself out when she immediately shot her pack animal and scout.

    Reply
  4. Joyce says:
    1 year ago

    Where is JD Vance? He is the only one that would survive and he is totally MAGA.

    Reply

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