Rosie O’Donnell Accidentally Unites America After Calling for ‘Boycott of America’

Somewhere outside the U.S.— What began as another unhinged celebrity rant turned into an unexpected miracle: Rosie O’Donnell has accidentally united Republicans and Democrats for the first time in decades, sources have confirmed.

The chaos started when Rosie, reportedly off her “emotional balance meds,” urged Americans to “boycott America until America behaves.”

She filmed the rant from her $14 million home gym, surrounded by designer water bottles and unused resistance bands.

Within hours, both sides of the aisle agreed on one thing — Rosie needs her medication.

In a rare moment of bipartisan compassion, Americans nationwide began offering to cover her prescription co-pay.

“If it keeps her off X for 48 hours, I’ll pay full price,” one Trump supporter said.

Even her former View co-hosts couldn’t take it.

Sources say Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg have blocked her number, with Behar muttering, “If Rosie keeps this up, I might start rooting for capitalism.”

Meanwhile, progressive socialists — acting as O’Donnell’s emotional support — scrambled to explain how boycotting the entire country would “help the working class.”

By evening, “Buy American” was trending, small businesses saw record sales, and one Walgreens pharmacist stated, “Rosie O’Donnell’s copays have been covered years to come by anonymous donors.”

As of press time, Rosie was seen re-downloading DoorDash, whispering, “I didn’t think this through.”