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Home U.S. News

Texas Dems Bolt to Chicago, Demand Binkies and Nap Time

Joe King by Joe King
August 4, 2025
in U.S. News
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Democrats are fleeing Texas for Chicago like spoiled kids ditching a timeout, sources have confirmed.

In a spectacle of pure, unfiltered drama, Texas Democrats are hightailing it to Chicago, clutching their emotional support binkies and demanding nap time to soothe their frazzled liberal nerves.



“We didn’t get our way, so we’re OUT!” sobbed one, tossing their avocado toast in a huff.

Their moms, screaming, “You can’t just run from consequences, Chad!” are reportedly hiring skywriters to broadcast their shame.

Sources say they’re fleeing Texas’ “oppressive” laws—like ones requiring, ugh, responsibility—for Chicago’s promised land of unicorn lattes and mandatory cuddle puddles.

Insiders whisper they’re planning a “Woe-Is-Me Wail-a-Thon,” with prizes for the loudest sob.

Texas locals, meanwhile, are converting their abandoned yoga studios into monster truck arenas.

“Sometimes life’s tough, but you don’t need a blankie and a juice box to cope!” cackled a GOP rancher.

As of press time, Chicago’s mayor was knitting a citywide security blanket to coddle the incoming crybabies.

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Comments 6

  1. Gregor Brewski says:
    4 months ago

    Democrats. The countries eunuchs.

    Reply
  2. Joe Modarots says:
    4 months ago

    Maybe Texans will get lucky and they will all stay in Chicago, for ever !

    Reply
  3. Darby O'Gill says:
    4 months ago

    Seem more like ‘ Demobrats’!!

    Reply
  4. GSM says:
    4 months ago

    They should be arrested and spend time in jail. What they do is called stealing time from your employer. Which are the American taxpayers .( Not dead beat college protestors or welfare or especially illegals who they gave America to . They allow them to destroy and burn our flag on our soil and protest. ) All Government employees should removed from ever running or serving in our government again . Along with illegals who sit in our chambers Talib and Omar etc: while calling for the death of Americans in our streets while living off of us. The Illegals and blacks they call on for the killing of Americans and return to their section 8 housing and food stamps and job and every freebie known to belong to Americans not them . When you get paid for a job that you do not do or show up for work requires your dismissal from that position . We all know their lavish lifestyles are paid by Americans they steal from
    This should be issued to all chambers Senate and Congressional members as well . Enough is enough . At this rate . Democrats refusal to actually work for their constituents or Americans . And republicans being pink pussies.
    So far at this rate . While they are taking their month long vacations. And we watch what Thune and Johnson is doing to ensure that nothing gets done and Trump can’t invoke the law that allows him to get his nominees put in . So that American can move forward. Vacations are a luxury
    which Americans no longer can have.
    They have only passed 2 things The Riley Lakin act And the BBBill they slashed into something unknown . At this rate nearly 8 months with only 2 things. We might get 6 things in 4 years.
    Republicans are doing what the democrats count on Kissing their ass.
    Americans. Wake up.
    .

    Reply
    • Jo says:
      4 months ago

      Very well said!

      Reply
  5. Linda says:
    4 months ago

    I’m a Texan, and strong Trump supporter. I say stay in Illinois, cry all you want to and take up residence there. Texas doesn’t cater to crybabies. If they stay in Illinois, it will raise the IQ of both states!!!

    Reply

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