In a divine power grab, President Donald Trump has announced his candidacy to become the next Pope, sending the internet into a holy frenzy, sources have confirmed.
The self-proclaimed “best Catholic ever” declared his bid on X, vowing to “make the Vatican great again” with gold-plated pews and “tremendous” sermons.
MAGA faithful flooded social media with memes of Trump in a glittering mitre, while conservatives cheered his audacity, calling it a checkmate against “woke clergy.”
Liberals clutched their rosaries, with one Democrat senator wailing, “He’ll turn St. Peter’s into a casino!”
Vatican insiders dismissed the bid, noting popes must be ordained, but Trump shrugged, claiming, “I’m basically a cardinal already.”
His platform includes border walls for Vatican City and “yuge” tax exemptions for churches.
Critics warn of diplomatic chaos, but supporters insist he’d outshine Pope Francis.
As of press time, Trump was designing a “Popemobile” with a built-in tanning bed.
POP.. who???? Isa he’s a Ro-Man.???
Donald who!! newer heard of him!?