HOLLYWOOD — The internet’s leading body-positive activists were rushed to emergency irony treatment this week after actress Sydney Sweeney once again committed the unforgivable crime of being comfortable in her own body without first receiving permission from people who hate her, sources have confirmed.
The latest outrage erupted after viewers remembered Sweeney is an actress who sometimes accepts acting roles and then, in a shocking twist, acts in them.
Online critics immediately labeled the behavior “dangerous,” “problematic,” and “very upsetting to people who post self-love graphics for a living.”
“We support women embracing who they are,” said one furious activist while typing her 47th post about Sweeney’s appearance.
“Unless they are attractive, confident, successful, politically inconvenient, and insufficiently ashamed of their genetics. Then it becomes harmful.”
Hollywood insiders confirmed Sweeney’s real offense is not a TV role, a commercial, or a camera angle.
It is that she keeps showing up, doing the job well, selling products, and failing to apologize for being noticed.
Progressive media outlets quickly convened a panel titled Is Sydney Sweeney Bad For Women Because Men Like Her And Women Noticed?
Meanwhile, Sweeney reportedly continued her controversial career strategy of working hard, acting professionally, smiling in interviews, and not releasing a 19-slide apology for having cheekbones.
As of press time, activists had reaffirmed that all women are beautiful, powerful, and valid, except the ones who make them feel insecure during jeans commercials.
