AUSTIN — Members of the LGBTQ+ community reportedly held an emergency meeting this week to plead with corporate America and progressive activists to stop turning every product, sports uniform, and company logo into an annual Pride Month marketing experiment, sources have confirmed.
The emergency gathering followed another round of rainbow-themed promotions that left even longtime supporters asking, “Can we please just watch the game?”
“We appreciate the sentiment,” one attendee reportedly sighed.
“But we didn’t ask you to redesign the jerseys, repaint the cereal boxes, or turn every baseball game into a four-hour HR seminar.”
According to insiders, the room erupted in applause after someone suggested Major League Baseball simply let the uniforms remain uniforms.
“Believe it or not,” another participant said, “some of us actually liked them the way they were.”
Marketing executives reportedly responded by unveiling three additional Pride logos, seventeen commemorative hashtags, and a limited-edition rainbow stapler.
Political consultants quickly insisted the solution was even more branding, arguing Americans clearly hadn’t seen enough corporations pretending to be deeply emotional between quarterly earnings reports.
Critics noted that companies somehow manage to discover profound moral convictions every June before quietly returning to ordinary business on July 1.
Even comedian Tim Dillon reportedly joked that Pride Month had become less about people and more about PowerPoint presentations written by consultants billing $700 an hour.
As of press time, corporations had reportedly announced next year’s Pride campaign would feature rainbow-colored tax forms reminding everyone how much they cared.
Pride month is a joke! Can we celebrate being white? Straight ? Can we have a month to Celebrate our veterans?
I don’t care about what anyone is attracted to so stop throwing it in our faces because you are actually destroying whatever you are pushing into people’s faces.
They are freako’s.
Just think, the Black Sox got kicked out of baseball with supposedly taking pay offs, in the World Series.
Get back in the closet you bunch of sick ass homos, you are not accepted….Go !
These outcasts have never been accepted in Society since the beginning of mankind. What makes them think anything is going to be different now ? All this seems to have to have started in the Obama Days.