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Home Entertainment

Whoopi Declares Herself Spokesperson For All Americans, Pollsters Begin Updating Census

Joe King by Joe King
June 26, 2026
in Entertainment, U.S. News
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NEW YORK — The hosts of The View reportedly declared this week that they now speak on behalf of every American after insisting “no one wants voter ID laws,” despite polls stubbornly refusing to cooperate, sources have confirmed.

Producers say the announcement came shortly after the panel unanimously agreed that if enough people inside one television studio believe something loudly enough, it automatically upgrades to national consensus—no outside verification required, batteries included.

“We’ve spoken,” one host reportedly proclaimed, adjusting an invisible crown.

“America has been informed what it believes. You’re welcome.”

Confused viewers across the country reportedly looked up from their televisions wondering when exactly they’d elected daytime talk show hosts as the nation’s official opinion department, and whether there had been a ballot they somehow missed between commercial breaks.

Polling firms were equally baffled after surveys continued showing broad public support for voter ID requirements despite the show’s insistence that such voters apparently don’t exist.

“That leaves us with two possibilities,” one pollster said.

“Either millions of Americans are imaginary, or somebody on TV has mistaken the studio audience for the entire country—and possibly the entire solar system.”

Backstage sources say producers briefly checked the prop closet for a “consensus generator” before settling on a whiteboard reading, “Our Feelings > Your Statistics,” written in what insiders described as “very confident marker.”

The panel reportedly dismissed the polling as misinformation, then doubled down by introducing a new segment titled Reality Check (But Only If We Agree With It).

Political analysts noted the strategy has become increasingly common: when reality refuses to cooperate, simply declare reality out of touch and move on with the show.

Meanwhile, stagehands were seen wheeling past a rack of unused props—including what one described as “a couple of old-timey straight jackets from a Halloween sketch”—before being told they were “not needed unless the ratings dip.”

As of press time, the hosts had reportedly informed NASA that gravity remained a deeply divisive issue because nobody in the studio personally supported it, prompting scientists to begin reconsidering whether physics should also be decided by panel discussion.

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Comments 22

  1. mountainman says:
    3 months ago

    If this isn’t BS than I don’t know what is.

    Reply
    • David Eugene Wilson says:
      3 months ago

      Believe me when I state, this is not only BS, but also poppycock, balderdash, non-sense, and a few other words I won’t include.

      Reply
      • Lorinda says:
        3 months ago

        You forgot hogwash.

        Reply
    • Glock says:
      3 months ago

      I think this is satrie

      Reply
  2. William Steinberger says:
    3 months ago

    No one gives a dang about your opinion! More than 70% want voter ID! You are nothing than a mouthpiece for the Failed Left! Posture your heart beforw Almighty God! Or you Shall Parish!

    Reply
  3. Joe Modarots says:
    3 months ago

    The liberal left has always controlled the mouthpieces of education, media and the arts.
    Now that they have succeeded at getting several Communists on ballots expect their propaganda to be nonstop and have no relationship to reality at all. They will do anything to elect Communists in an effort to destroy our Constitutional Republic !
    This was never about just Trump ! It was always about YOU too !

    Reply
  4. Wyatt says:
    3 months ago

    CTAs usual, Whoopi has her head up a certain body cavity that shan’t be named .

    Reply
    • EDI says:
      3 months ago

      Why not?

      Reply
  5. Pia says:
    3 months ago

    To the members of “The View” reference is made to Job in the Bible – “… a stupid man will get understanding when a wild donkey’s colt is born a man” — another way of saying “you can’t fix stupid” (even from 2,000 years ago!)

    Reply
  6. William WOODCOCK says:
    3 months ago

    Whoopi “cushion” making noise, and everyone with polite common sense ignoring “it”!

    Reply
  7. Tuna says:
    3 months ago

    No she’s correct, Whoopi does speak for the 100 or so lesbians in her TV studio audience, and the 1000 or so fat, frustrated and bored housewives watching the show at home.

    Reply
  8. UglySlippers says:
    3 months ago

    It’s really hard to say which one of them is the dumbest. Whoopi is right up there. She who thought Jill Biden was a great doctor.

    Reply
  9. Gunny says:
    3 months ago

    I have been screaming for voter ID since 1996!! Why? While in the military I have seen other people get mail that was intended for the person from the delivery guy. They would use it to vote for the poor guy that had no idea his ballot was delivered to the wrong address. Democrats want to cheat plain and simple, look at the race for mayor in LA. It screams voter fraud!!!! There is a video of people taking a break and a group of people coming in and sorting. Democrats are cheaters!!!!

    Reply
    • Ron Miller says:
      3 months ago

      One of the dems’ new mantras is “by any means necessary,” and that’s factual, not satire. And they mean it. These hopelessly indoctrinated morons believe that violence and fraudulent voting are heaven-blessed when perpetrated on conservatives. In the case of Brian Thompson, Luigi Mangione’s murder victim, there was immediately a large cohort of the knuckle draggers chanting that it was justified homicide requiring Mangione’s charges being dropped.

      Reply
  10. EDI says:
    3 months ago

    Why not?

    Reply
  11. Carl says:
    3 months ago

    So mr Steinberger, are you saying those in a parish are all going to hell? Or did you mean they will perish?😂

    Reply
  12. Martha Bogart says:
    3 months ago

    She doesn’t speak for me!

    Reply
  13. Linda Maher says:
    3 months ago

    The Pew as in stink does not speak for American citizens. She may parrot the sceezeballs, hollyweird, losers, deplorables, degenerates, socialist commies, and lgbtqrstmnop-lol, But Not the 90% of us who voted for and defended this country!!! She needs to join odonnell of Ireland and the rest of the bacteria to be eradicated!!!

    Reply
  14. Sam Johnson says:
    3 months ago

    She DOES not speak for me. I fully support voter ID and she can move to anywhere out of the states anytime now.

    Reply
  15. Peter says:
    3 months ago

    If you watch ‘The View’ you’re losing I.Q. points. These “Icons” of progressive socialism have no clue what America wants. They have lost touch with reality and by their self proclaimed moral and intellectual superiority, have No need to explain their positions or even acknowledge facts. Remember when Mr. Biden told us to not let the facts get in the way of the truth. In other words, “The truth is what I say it is!” and all you morally and intellectually inferior people will comply.
    They’re rating are falling and they’ll be cancelled soon. Of course they will blame conservatives and President Trump of political attacks and controlling the network despite the obvious lack viewers and revenue.

    Reply
  16. Bobby says:
    3 months ago

    Whoopi with her eighth grade education is someone everyone should take advice from. I’m sure she never heard of Civics or American history.

    Reply
  17. Mel says:
    3 months ago

    Whoopi you so are morally corrupt, you are an evil woman! Are you really that stupid? You are so deceived! Serving the creature, satan, rather than the Creator, The LORD GOD ALMIGHTY! You are heading straight to Hell! Repent and ask JESUS to forgive you while you still have breath! Life is precious and fragile and No One is guaranteed tomorrow! You could go to sleep tonight and not wake up in the morning! Whoopi you should read chapter 10 of the New Testament book Hebrews, but you probably won’t read it so here’s an excerpt, For we know Him who said, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY.” And again, “THE LORD WILL JUDGE HIS PEOPLE.” It is a a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living GOD (Hebrews 10:31 & 33). You are serving Satan! And there is a point of No Return Whoopi, Wake Up Before It’s Too Late! May GOD Have Mercy On Your Soul! Mel Foote, Ret. TSgt, USAF

    Reply

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