With Chicago’s Cardinal Blase Cupich crowned as Pope Benedict XVII, the first American pontiff, Vatican City is going full Americana, opening a Chick-fil-A, Starbucks, and Portillo’s to serve Chicago’s famous Italian beef sandwiches, sources have confirmed.
The culinary takeover, greenlit by the new Pope, aims to “sanctify fast food” with nuggets, lattes, and dripping beef sandwiches, thrilling conservative Catholics who see it as a triumph of U.S. culture.
“Italian beef in Italy—perfect!” Trump posted on X, while MAGA pilgrims planned Vatican trips for a taste.
Liberals decried the “corporate desecration” of holy ground, but Vatican officials argued Starbucks’ pumpkin spice aligns with autumnal feast days.
Chick-fil-A, still closed Sundays, promises “sacred respect,” and Portillo’s vows to bless each sandwich.
As of press time, Pope Benedict XVII was spotted sipping a Frappuccino while dunking his beef sandwich in holy gravy.
Everything is a CIRCUS… and we are the clowns 😩
Who gives a hoot about the Pope Stop with the constant updates and glorifying of evil . A Revolutionary War made sure we were not under the crown or the Papacy . God says to call no man father except him And the Papacy claims to be God ! But they die like humans . God is definitely alive.!!!
This Pope by his own record should have not been chosen.
Reason for his position !
Is to stop Trumps Agenda. And as we all know our chambers have at least 89 % Catholics. All of which claim to know God But not one belongs to him. Stealing and murdering and destroying this nation. When politicians get rich off the people And everyone of them kill and make it available for women to become whores and kill the one thing God Will exact a price on you for. . Wake up or the one you will be looking into his face . Well ! Where will you be when you wake up dead ? The Papacy has never removed its nose from our government And it was against the law to be a catholic in this country. But like everything else If God doesn’t return soon. ! Satans has 6000 yrs to devise his plan. And America is going like a freight train right to hell
GSM writes
Reason for his position !
Is to stop Trumps Agenda.
On the contrary, it could very well be that God has chosen both the Pope and Trump to save our world.
Well if you have read the word of God Then you would know where we are In relation to the end America is serving Satan and continues to kill Gods creations. God says you can’t serve two masters . When Americans threw God out ! Satan moved in The Pope is not Hod and neither is Trump ! America is not under the Papacy or the crown. A Revolutionary War settles that one . Don’t fall for the hype ! Your soul depends on it . Verify in the word of God .
There will be no saving by any human. We got a temporary reprieve Only to allow those who are waiting to come quickly Before Christ return
Ask yourself . Where you will be ! When you wake up dead. Whose face will you be looking into .
Read the name of the Pope. Be serious all, once again people take everything on the Skrape as gospel (pun intended).
The new Pope is NOT Pope Benedict.