After months of speculation, it was announced today that Donald J. Trump and Joe Biden have agreed to a UFC fight, with the winner to become the President Elect next January, sources have confirmed.
“The rumors are true,” said Dana White, president of UFC, at a press conference earlier today. “When I saw the fight between Mike Tyson and Jake Paul announced, I couldn’t just stand by and watch some other promotion put on the fight of the century. So I made some calls. Trump was no problem, that’s my guy, but Joe was a little tougher. He made me promise homefield advantage and to ban a man named Corn Pop from the arena.”
Fans of mixed martial arts were shocked to hear about the upcoming UFC 307 main event, which will be held in Washington D.C. sometime this November, in lieu of a traditional Presidential election.
“Normally I wouldn’t get that excited about a couple of prospects that have never fought in the cage before,” said local UFC superfan Wayne Black. “But obviously it’s a little bit different when it’s the two guys running for President. Oh man, I’m mad we weren’t doing this sooner. Can you imagine Gore versus Bush? Or Romney/Obama?”
As of press time, the fight had been postponed indefinitely after Joe Biden sustained several major injuries while warming up on an exercise bike.
