A majority of American senators and representatives have pledged to ban the popular video-sharing app TikTok, as soon as any of them figure out how to use it, sources confirm.
“Okay, I think I’m getting somewhere,” said Senate Leader Chuck Schumer, after trying for 10 minutes to enter his email in order to open an account and begin viewing content. “Wait, this is saying to ‘Choose a strong password.’ What the heck does that mean? Oh let me get my grandson in here and see if he can help me figure out this thing that I’m adamant we ban.”
Despite the older generation’s struggles with modern technology, they insisted that banning TikTok is in the best interest of the American public.
“I’m not all the way sure what’s going on with this thing,” said Senator Mitch McConnell, taking a crack at the phone after Schumer gave up. “But let me be clear, what’s going on with this thing is absolutely unacceptable and un-American. We have to ban this abhorrent company and its unethical business practices, at least until they sell to someone we like. Then it should be fine.”
As of press time, McConnell had accidentally sent an email to himself outlining all of the reasons the TikTok ban is necessary.
Tik tok is a chink company spying on Americans and should be banned. They collect data, put bugs in your phone and send it all back to the stinking landfill known as commie china. We should give Taiwan nukes to rid the world of the vermin in Beijing. Biden and swalwell are puppets of the communist rat bastards
Yup
Its a chink spy tool to indoctrinate our kids! Boot it!