As the recent sightings of unexplained drones over New Jersey continue, a couple of aliens that were reportedly considering touching down in the area have changed their plans, sources confirm.
“Uh yeah, no thanks, that freaks us out a little bit,” said Claxon-14, the captain of the spacecraft that had been dispatched in order to abduct humans and study them. “Drones hovering over a populated state, in this era of uncertain foreign relations? Yikes, dude. I think we’ll just go fuck around and make some crop circles in Nebraska or something. Smell ya later, dudes.”
Residents of New Jersey were relieved to hear that the extraterrestrials had changed their plans.
“Thank god,” said Anthony Rossi, a local garbageman. “I got enough to worry about with these friggen’ drones up in the air all day. I don’t need a day of paranoia finished with an all-night probing session, you know what I mean? Tell those aliens to buzz off, we got enough problems down here!”
As of press time, the alien craft had been shot down by citizens in Chicago upon being spotted making its trek towards Nebraska.
So, you think Aliens would rather “fuck” around Nebraska? I think “Aliens” are a lot more polite than People are?
If you saw their meat appendage, you would think otherwise.!! Especially the Grays! When they get erect it’s almost 90% of their body mass,!!! So dreamy!! A couple came in at closing time at my bar, they showed me the stars!!!
Klattu Barada Nikto. Repeat it to me.
This not “cha cha” it’s Cooper from CNN infringing on women’s rights.
Anderson cooper has inhaled more man meat than the sisters of perpetual indulgence. Don lemon is upset his colleague is hogging all the beef and called AOC about hookups with grays. Hopefully, he’ll leave me alone!
Yes , we would! After we saw Taylor swift’s half eaten chicken wing whoo ha and the sisters of perpetual indulgence, we wonder how mankind reproduces. osmosis? Telepathy? You earthlings are one one sick species !!!
They’re more freaked out by biden!