On Wednesday, a group of first-time voters rushed to the Smithsonian to donate screenshots of what they believed was America’s first divided government, sources have confirmed.
The curator took them downstairs and showed them a photograph of Dwight Eisenhower.
“Republican president. Democratic House and Senate for six years.”
One visitor tried to zoom in on the photograph with two fingers.
The curator waited politely for him to finish.
A second visitor recognized Eisenhower from her high school textbook.
She’d drawn sunglasses on him during the lesson and remembered getting the shading right.
Fifteen minutes later, the group understood divided government.
A cable news producer asked them to go back inside.
He’d booked six hours of coverage and still needed people to look confused.
A Democratic consultant arrived with a plaque declaring that checks and balances had been invented on election night.
The curator handed him a donation form and asked how old it was.
“About forty minutes.”
She directed him to the recycling bin.
“Can we get a picture of me donating it?”
The students bought pocket Constitutions.
One bought a second copy for the producer, who asked if it came with a Democrat and a Republican to explain it.
As of press time, the museum had accepted the plaque for a new exhibit on how quickly campaign merchandise becomes an artifact.
