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Home U.S. News

Illegal Migrants Swap Beaches for Bayous in Louisiana

Joe King by Joe King
March 14, 2025
in U.S. News
13
Illegal Migrants Swap Beaches for Bayous in Louisiana

bayou immigrants

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In a bold shift from the tropical breezes of Guantanamo Bay to the humid swamps of Louisiana, all illegal migrants previously enjoying the 5-star accommodations at the controversial resort have been relocated to the Bayou, sources have confirmed.

This move is part of a new government initiative aimed at integrating migrants into less luxurious but more culturally rich American environments.



The decision came after complaints that detainees were getting a little too comfortable with the Caribbean lifestyle, complete with yoga sessions on the beach and gourmet meals. “It’s time they experience real America, starting with alligator wrestling and crawfish catching,” stated an anonymous official, who believes the Bayou will provide a more authentic introduction to American life.

Residents of Louisiana have mixed feelings about their new neighbors, with some locals looking forward to showcasing their Southern hospitality, while others are more concerned about sharing their secret fishing spots.

As of press time, the former detainees were seen trading their flip-flops for fishing boots and learning the fine art of making gumbo, with a few even enrolling in a Cajun French class to truly blend in with the Bayou lifestyle.

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Comments 13

  1. 2004done says:
    9 months ago

    I’m truly impressed with this “Support The Swamp” plan, but it would be better to relocate to the marshlands that were used to make DC. We won’t even have to import the necessary swamp creatures because they’re already here voting against the Constitution

    Reply
  2. Joe Modarots says:
    9 months ago

    Some advise for Guantanamo Bay transferees…
    On da Bayou, if it smell like fish bot taste like chicken, it probably be dat alligada !
    When you go to dat craw fish boil , don’t forget, you eat dem tails and suck dem heads !
    If you remember dat, you tongue ain’t gunna believe what you hand just put in you mouth…
    Last but not first, for da best ting dat ever been in you ear, take youself out and
    get you some a dat Cajon Rock music at a place day got dat “ Bayou Boogie “ band play’n !
    Whoooo Ta’k Abo’t !!!

    Reply
    • Stephen J Daniels,sr.. says:
      9 months ago

      That’s good!

      Reply
  3. Joe Modarots says:
    9 months ago

    Whooo,
    One mor ting…
    Da secret to dat fine gumbo…
    Never, never, never burn dat roux !!!
    ( if you did…
    you can’t eat dat ting !)

    Reply
  4. LINDA says:
    9 months ago

    prison is where illegals belong because they are against the law, NO PERKS WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!

    Reply
  5. GSM says:
    9 months ago

    If they were proven to have murdered or raped Americans
    Then do what you would do to Americans.
    Execute them . I for one see a delusion being created . Keeping them one second longer gives them more air to breath Their victims didn’t get that choice. Why move them Try them by Military tribunals. Make room for more We have billions in waiting . Or put parachutes on them and drop them off in their own countries Where was the concern from democrats for those they killed. We saw their response As they sat their with their evil faces turned into putrid hatred When the victims of these disgusting illegals were introduced. Americans if you don’t stand up And stand against democrats and rinos Then you deserve the death camps they have been building for you I for one will fight. They broke the law . Our law! Just being in America . But only Americans have to obey these laws. It’s time that Americans stop being spoiled pussies and get a spine. Their crimes are as bad as it gets. And the judges who let them go should be executed with them And every politician that caused this should see the end of a rope That’s what they do to Americans for these crimes
    Americans remember these are as vile as it gets. And catering to their needs while Americans die in our streets Feeding these bottom feeders while Americans starve. Our government is killing the chickens All over a nothing virus . So Americans starve . And the fools who are our enemies within that sit in our chambers and those who protest being paid to destroy within.

    Reply
  6. Peter Miks says:
    9 months ago

    Bullshit. Deport

    Reply
    • MAGA Man says:
      9 months ago

      Bull Schiff deport.

      You get two thumbs up.

      Reply
    • GSM says:
      9 months ago

      I say put parachutes on every Illegal and drop them off in their country’s
      No matter how young or old. This looks like a smoke screen. A diversion from what is really taking place. When someone goes to jail that brought them here who broke our laws to do it Then there might be a moment of belief ! All illegals could be made to get out If . They gave a 30 day to get out or be shot. I have no compassion for them or their children After what their being in our country illegally has done to our own children and people. Mexico wants to play hardball Give them back the millions they helped into our country. And we have half of their country in America illegally . All living off of us . And no more money . Americans first Ever wonder why we no longer have restaurants that serve Our American food ?Trump needs to do what the Democrat Andrew Jackson did Tell these judges to go to H—ll

      Reply
  7. Mike says:
    9 months ago

    Americans should legally be able to shoot and kill illegal.

    Reply
  8. nannyoo says:
    9 months ago

    maybe the gators will pull them into the swamp

    Reply
    • Gregor Brewski says:
      9 months ago

      Yes! “gator bait”!

      Reply
  9. Peter Miks says:
    9 months ago

    Who the fuck believes this bullshit? I don’t.

    Reply

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