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Home Politics

Joe Biden Banned From Local Mall After Sniffing Santa’s Beard

Joe King by Joe King
December 17, 2024
in Politics
21
Joe Biden Banned From Local Mall After Sniffing Santa’s Beard
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As the Christmas season approaches, President Joe Biden has been banned from a local Washington D.C. mall after inappropriately sniffing Santa Claus’ beard, sources confirm. 

“Hey, cut that shit out, you weirdo,” said Dwayne Haskins, a landscaper that works as Santa during the holidays to make extra cash. “You got away with a lot while you were in charge, but your days are numbered, Joe. Get the hell off of my lap, and don’t you dare sniff anyone else on your way out!” 

Other mall employees confirmed Haskins’ allegations. 

“Yeah, for years we’d be told ‘Biden’s coming in, don’t freak out if he sniffs you,’” said Laurie Summers, a manager at Bath & Body Works. “But lately they said not to worry about it, and that we don’t have to put up with this senile old man for much longer. He’d always come in and pretend to be sniffing different products, but I could tell he was just trying to get close to my hair. Good riddance, Joe.” 

As of press time, Biden had wandered into the Rainforest Cafe and hasn’t been seen since.

Tags: BidenChristmasSanta
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Comments 21

  1. Jbec55 says:
    5 months ago

    Cute one!

    Reply
  2. AviSC says:
    5 months ago

    Would it be so surprising?

    Reply
  3. Nathan C. Paris says:
    5 months ago

    Are you sure that’s all Biden sniffed?

    Reply
    • Orion says:
      5 months ago

      He might have also snorted with Hunter

      Reply
      • Ron Rosmer says:
        5 months ago

        No, that was Bill Clinton you’re referring to. Hillary’s brother was recorded in a clandestine FBI tape, saying that “when it comes to [hash] Billy has a nose like a vacuum cleaner.” (see the Mena, AK tapes.)

        Reply
  4. Jho buy deng says:
    5 months ago

    I almost cured myself once, when I sniffed whoopi’s beard. I found out later it was Chewbacca’s ass!. Thank god for charmin!

    Reply
    • Nathan C. Paris says:
      5 months ago

      Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

      Reply
  5. jerry says:
    5 months ago

    About time someone call him out. his age has nothing to do with it he knows he can get away with it so he does it. he is just a pervert.

    Reply
  6. MAGA Man says:
    5 months ago

    In 2007 Joe said about Obama, “…who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. ”
    In 2007 Obama said to Joe.”…You smell like an unclean as$hole.”
    2007 to today Joe’s sniffing for one.

    Reply
  7. CPO Bill says:
    5 months ago

    Bet he was working his way down to sniff his butt.

    Reply
    • Nathan C. Paris says:
      5 months ago

      That’s my bet! Hell, Biden doesn’t know which end is up anyway?

      Reply
  8. Joe Biden says:
    5 months ago

    Look, folks, here’s the deal…we must remain vagilent!!! Trumps erectionists are gonna try to put one up on us!! No joke! We must win in November to preserve democracy! I’m not too old to run, you’ve seen me do the little jog step on way to the green thingy on White House lawn. Vagilance is the price free people pay.!!

    Reply
  9. Cynthia j Shallit says:
    5 months ago

    But it’s not true.Typical MAGAs. Joe saved us from a recession, created more jobs than any other president, didn’t rape or demean women, wasn’t corrupt ,followed laws and told the truth.

    Reply
    • Joe shmoe says:
      5 months ago

      You are either dumb or on drugs
      He ruined the economy he let in over 30million mentally ill , sick, croaked people that every other country didn’t want and pushed them all here

      Your and idiot

      Reply
      • Nathan C. Paris says:
        5 months ago

        My thoughts exactly! You took the words right out of my mouth….

        Reply
    • Ron Rosmer says:
      5 months ago

      Joe deserves all the credit for insuring that it was Kamel-hare who ran for president, and not him. Heaven forbid, if Joe had run there was a good chance that he might have won, again, and finished off what was left of the republic.

      Reply
    • Jhoe bi deng says:
      5 months ago

      It’s true! Remain vagiliant! The Erectionists are coming!! Cynthia is a commie shill trying to cause confusion ! One of these 87 genders, has parts hanging all over! I’m glad kamala is winning, take that corn pop!! I didn’t create jobs, they just came back from our stoping them

      Reply
    • Festus says:
      5 months ago

      Cynthia, was your daughter beaten, raped and had her head crushed with a rock by joe biden’s illegal aliens? I think not. Open borders allowing criminals free rein is NOT following the law.

      Reply
  10. Philp Simon says:
    5 months ago

    Please sniffing Joe,hope SAantas beard will be thelast thing you do, before leaving offce.

    Reply
    • Nathan C. Paris says:
      5 months ago

      No, unfortunately Joe can screw a lot more up before he leaves office!

      Reply
  11. Dakotajoe says:
    5 months ago

    What ever happened to Taylor swift and her half eaten chicken wing Whoo Ha saving Kamala toe? Didn’t work, huh? Even ditched the witch

    Reply

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