NEW YORK — Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s anti-hate announcement collapsed Tuesday when his head rotated mid-speech and his second face congratulated the anti-Israel activists collecting city checks, sources have confirmed.
“We stand firmly against hate,” said Face One.
“Your funding cleared,” whispered Face Two.
An aide attempted to stop the rotation with a neck brace purchased through the Department of Maintaining Appearances, but both faces submitted separate requests for reimbursement.
Officials insisted there was no contradiction.
“The mayor condemns hate with his public-facing mouth,” explained a spokesperson.
“His accounts-payable mouth handles community partnerships.”
The ceremony deteriorated when Mamdani cut a ribbon marked “STOP ANTISEMITISM,” then handed the scissors to activists requesting funds to shred it.
“This is what accountability looks like,” announced a consultant, standing directly in front of what accountability looked like.
One taxpayer asked whether the city would next fight arson by buying matches.
“Only for historically underfunded fire starters,” replied Face Two.
Reporters eventually discovered both faces shared one brain, which had been placed on administrative leave for asking where the money went.
City Hall blamed the confusion on Republicans, faulty lighting, and the offensive assumption that words should correspond with actions.
As of press time, Mamdani had promised to get to the bottom of the scandal, but neither face would identify which one was currently talking out of his ass.
Perfect!
Mamdani and other New Yorkers don’t care about anyone but themselves and their Islamist agenda hidden under socialism. Mamdani is also suing Columbia University because campus gate entrances are closed and only students and staff with IDs can enter. Remember open gates led to Pro-Palestine protesters kidnapping a janitor and taking over the building, vandalizing the beautiful library, destroying the lawn with tents and garbage, and attacking police. The neighborhood people are upset because they can no longer cut through the campus and have to walk to the next street. These are the New Yorker’s who vote for Mamdani and a Mayor. These are the haters and selfish people willing to put a student body back in harms way at any cost to innocent lives.
The fact that Mamdani used the anniversary of the October 7th slaughter not to remember those who were slaughtered, but to promote and praise those who slaughtered them should tell all New Yorkers everything they need to know about the hart, soul and true intentions of the sudo-Mayor they elected.
This imposter should be recalled immediately !
Mamdani s oct 7 comments on oct 7 are hate speech under state and fed law and violate his oath of office