HOLLYWOOD — Multimillionaire late-night host Jimmy Kimmel warned America this week that Elon Musk may become an “obscenely wealthy weirdo,” bravely sounding the alarm from inside a studio built by obscene wealth, corporate advertising, and whatever remains of ABC’s patience, sources have confirmed.
Kimmel, whose current comedy strategy consists of saying “Trump” and waiting for the studio applause sign to emotionally carry the segment, reportedly became concerned after learning Musk’s companies were still launching rockets, building technology, and doing things people voluntarily care about.
“This is dangerous,” Kimmel said.
“If Elon becomes a trillionaire, he might use that money to build rockets, satellites, cars, robots, and free speech platforms. I use my wealth for something far more noble: explaining why everyone richer than me is morally suspicious.”
Hollywood analysts say Kimmel was once considered funny back in kindergarten, when he reportedly dominated snack time with elite fart jokes and a devastating impression of a chair squeaking.
But sources say his modern material has struggled since audiences began noticing every monologue sounds like a DNC intern got trapped in a middle-aged dad’s body.
Meanwhile, Musk responded by continuing to run companies that send objects into space, while Kimmel’s writers celebrated a punchline about Republicans being bad.
As of press time, Kimmel had clarified he does not hate wealth, only wealth belonging to people with better ratings, better jokes, reusable rockets, and no need for an applause sign.
Jimmy Himmel is an evil manical douche bag.
I’m not rich at all, and I’m too rich
Just think of how he could afford to help COUNTRIES that are suffering because of war!!!! And he’d have plenty left!!!
I’ll just bet you can find lots of ways to spend other people’s money. What he does with his money is HIS business, not ours. Stay in your lane and lead by example!!
There are many reasons for starvation in the world. Not just a lack of money. Corrupt government is a big one. Elon Musk has given billions to world hunger. Quit showing your jealousy.
Jealousy raised it ugly head again way to go jimmy.
I love how the liberals and progressives always have ideas on how other successful people should spend their money, all the while not spending a dime of their own money on these ideas.
True! First they will want equal distribution of someone’s wealth… 😂
Kimmel’s problem is the same one that afflicts the the vast majority of wokes; they’re learning-impaired stupid people. Don’t hate Kimmel too much. It’s probably not his fault that he was born with the brain of a rabbit and simply lacks the intelligence necessary to help himself.
Jimmy is a funny person. He sees things in a unique way. I don’t always agree with him but you gotta agree he’s funny. I feel like I’m watching the “Man Show”.
Pity the moron who has no comedic material beyond Trump, Trump, Trump.
Is Jimmy still a black face? Like Ted Danson
Is Jimmy still a black face? Like Ted Danson.
Who the hell is this Jimmy Kimmel everyone is talking about? Never heard of him.