Missing Supreme Leader Emerges Only In Handwritten Notes, Insists He’s “Totally Not Hiding”

TEHRAN — Iran’s New Supreme Leader was reportedly spotted again this week in his natural habitat — a strongly worded handwritten note — as he continues his extended absence from public view, sources have confirmed.

The leader, who has not been seen in person since recent military tensions escalated, issued another ominous written message assuring citizens he remains in full control, just “strategically unseen.”

Officials say the notes have become increasingly dramatic, featuring bold language, underlines, and what experts describe as “very confident penmanship for someone who absolutely isn’t hiding.”

“He’s not missing,” one government spokesperson insisted.

“He’s just choosing not to appear anywhere, on camera, or within a 500-mile radius of anything remotely dangerous.”

Citizens report the situation has begun to resemble a real-life game of Where’s Waldo, except instead of finding him in a crowd, they receive occasional letters confirming he’s somewhere else entirely.

Sources say the leader’s latest message explained his absence was not due to fear, but rather a personal preference to avoid cameras.

“He feels the camera adds weight,” one aide clarified.

“This is about optics, not hiding.”

Meanwhile, analysts say the leader’s strategy has shifted from public appearances to what they’re calling “remote intimidation,” where threats are delivered exclusively through carefully folded stationery.

Despite the absence, officials insist leadership remains strong, noting that issuing warnings from an undisclosed location requires significant courage and excellent handwriting.

As of press time, the Supreme Leader was reportedly drafting another bold statement while continuing to bravely avoid being seen.