White House interns grew concerned earlier today, as they reported that President Joe Biden saw the new Godzilla vs. Kong movie and thought it was real, sources have confirmed.
“I was worried when I’d learned that they’d set up a screening of that movie for him,” said Lauren Parker, White House intern. “Lately Joe’s been having trouble with movies. When he watched Top Gun: Maverick, he excused himself to the bathroom and 25 minutes later they found him trying to fly Air Force One by himself. I knew something like Godzilla vs. Kong would get him way too excited. He’s gonna do something crazy I bet.”
The President’s misconception lead to an awkward speech given earlier today.
“I’m not gonna stand back while monsters come into this country and take it over, Buster” said the President, before a confused collection of Democratic donors. “I’m shoring up all of our military assets up and down the coasts, and I’ve ordered them to fire upon any giant lizards on sight. Apes too. We can’t be too safe. Also, before I forget, please elect me to lead the country for four more years!”
As of press time, President Biden had issued a desperate plea to England’s infamous James Bond to help us out with this whole mess.
Yep, pretty accurate.. at least in this scenario he’s actually “trying” to DO something!
And this guy has the nuclear launch codes. Impeach him now before he destroys the world. Use the 25 amendment now before he incinerate all of us and for treason for concluding with China on everything that will destroy this country.
He lives in an alternate state of mind! Time to put him in a hospital for the mentally ill!
Did You say “godzirra”