Protest organizers announced they had defeated rising fuel prices by purchasing fuel and setting it on fire in the middle of the highway, sources have confirmed.
The counterattack began after diesel prices jumped 40 percent, prompting demonstrators to gather tires, fuel cans, and transportation budgets they could locate.
“Now the government understands,” explained one organizer while warming his hands over what was exactly six months of grocery money.
The strategy expanded. Residents protesting expensive gasoline drained their vehicles, soaked banners, and created a blaze visible from other countries.
Taxi drivers discovered they lacked fuel to drive home from the protest.
Economists praised the demonstration for reducing demand.
They predicted prices would stabilize once nobody had fuel, tires, transportation, savings, or functional roads.
The Ministry of Burning Expensive Things offered official guidance. Citizens angry about bread prices could build toast bonfires.
Families upset about rent were encouraged to launch furniture from balconies.
Anyone protesting electricity costs could plug 900 space heaters into one extension cord.
Demonstrators blocked a convoy carrying fuel, declaring that allowing supplies through would undermine the message about unavailable supplies.
Officials agreed to hold a listening session, provided somebody could find diesel to transport the energy minister.
As of press time, protesters had declared victory after fuel became impossible to waste because they had wasted all of it.
