WASHINGTON — Republicans proposed a simple immigration reform this week after millions of World Cup visitors arrived in the United States, enjoyed the country, praised the food, discovered ranch dressing, and immediately treated it like a miracle condiment sent down from Mount Rushmore, sources have confirmed.
The proposal is straightforward: international visitors who love America, respect the country, and believe ranch belongs on everything may stay, while Americans who spend every waking hour explaining how terrible the United States is may finally experience the progressive paradise they keep recommending to everyone else.
“This seems fair,” said one Republican voter.
“If you hate America but someone from overseas just cried tears of joy into a basket of wings, maybe trade apartments.”
The left immediately responded with its traditional toddler diplomacy.
“You can’t make us leave!” screamed one activist clutching a reusable tote bag full of grievances.
“We have every right to stay here and explain why this country is awful while enjoying its freedom, Wi-Fi, air conditioning, grocery stores, and ranch dressing!”
International fans were reportedly confused.
“You complain about this place?” asked one visitor while filling a suitcase with ranch packets.
“But your bathrooms are free, your portions are enormous, and your gas stations sell hot food at midnight. Are you people insane?”
Democrats condemned the swap idea as cruel, mostly because it would leave them with fewer people to organize marches against a country everyone else is trying to enter.
As of press time, several World Cup fans had applied for citizenship after learning America offers free speech, big trucks, college football, and 19 different ranch flavors.
Yes, swap em !
If you like their patriotic reaction to Ranch dressing,
just wait until July 4, 250 when they get a taste of bar-b-q sauce !
Americans love America but they do not love Trump and what he is doing to destroy America and the Republicans who won’t stand up to Trump even though they know he is wrong!!!
Martha will love him too, in a couple of months.
I’m an American and a Vetran and I like Trump just fine. In my house we refer to ranch dressing as secret sause.
☺️ Sounds right to me! 👍❤️🇺🇲
You are delusional. Period!
Apparently 83,000,000 American voters think you’re an idiot…
Martha,
What specifically is our President doing to “destroy America ?”
Is it keeping Iran from getting a nuclear bomb ?
Is it stabilizing the Middle East ?
Is it improving our economy over the last administration ?
Is it lowering inflation over the last administration ?
Is it preserving our constitutional republic ?
Is it preserving our economic system of capitalism ?
What ?
Specifically what the Democrats are doing to “destroy America ;”
Thwarting our Presidents attempts to keep Iran from getting a nuclear bomb.
Thwarting our Presidents attempts to stabilize the Middle East.
Running Marxist, Islamist and Nazi candidates who promote policy’s
goaling to replace our constitutional form of government with Marxist Socializm.
Running Marxist, Islamist and Nazi candidates who promote policy’s goaling to
replace our capitalism economic system with the Marxist Socialist economic system.
Just to name a few…
Talking points from naivety, brainwashing or a Bot. No examples given for “they know he is wrong.’ Wrong about what? Freeing people from dictatorial governments, reducing teenage deaths from Chinese drugs and making cartels the new trillionaires, lowering taxes for middle class workers, allowing parents and seniors to keep more of their hard earned money,, criminalizing fraud and punishing illegal immigrants and like-minded American fraudsters instead of allowing the Democratic Party to benefit from stealing our money, votes, and authority, or showing an ID to vote for someone who will control your life by making rules, let alone closing the borders like all other sane countries to keep out as many murdering gangs members, rapists, pedophiles and mentally insane people as possible. So what is he wrong about? Trying for peace with Islamist terrorists maybe since that will never happen and the Mamdani’s are taking control of the country. More positives than negatives and not wrongs.
Martha will love him too, in a couple of months.
Their tourists. Yes they love to visit, but they won’t love paying Taxes, the police and ICE pulling them over , beating them and shooting them. All because they look different( not White) and deporting them to Alcatraz in Florida. lol. It’s always nice to be tourist. I love to visit Europe, but don’t know if I would want to live there. Republicans make the dumbest statements . I’m still laughing.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed are you? What part of illegal aliens do you not understand? They broke the law! My wife came from Japan and we followed the law to a “ T”
We paid the fees and she aced the citizenship test. J live ICE and its mission. Go move to shithole Mexico and be an illegal there, so if they care about your “ feelings” while in jail. Go ICE and President Trump!
“Their” is not ‘They are’ … Learn English … unless you’re a CCP AI bot…
J
“The police and ice pulling them over, beating and shooting them, all because they look different.” You can’t be that naive ! Apparently you have never heard of gangs, drug dealers, murderers or rapists. And if you have, apparently you think they are all white !
Maybe Republicans can put a bounty on illegals. The ones who honestly appreciate America could replace one hundred illegal criminals.